Page 5 of Hard To Love

“Good,” she replied, before picking her fork back up. “Now, let’s finish our dinner so we can start getting ready.”

After we finished eating, we were taking turns loading the dishwasher when her phone buzzed on the counter. I glanced down, noticing she had an instant Facebook message. I picked up the phone to hand it to her, and saw the name on the screen.

I held the phone out to her in disbelief. “Why the hell is Mark messaging you?”

Mark was Cassie’s ex-boyfriend, whom she had just found out was getting married. She tried to act like it didn’t bother her but I knew it did. He was her first and only serious relationship and the reason why she had sworn off dating.

She snatched the phone out of my hand. “He was just responding to a message I sent him congratulating him on his engagement.” She tried to look convincing but the pink that painted both of her cheeks gave her away.

“Cassie!” I warned. “Don’t fall for his crap again.”

She rolled her eyes. “Trust me, that ship has sailed,” she said, throwing the dishrag into the sink. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

My gut told me there was more to the story but if she wanted to tell me, she would. I decided to drop it for now, figuring I would bring it up at a later time.

After cleaning up the kitchen, she dashed into her bedroom and emerged, holding three dresses for me to try on.

“Here you go,” she beamed. “Any of these will look great on you. But this black dress,” she held it out, “will definitely call attention to your assets and hopefully get you laid tonight.”

As I scanned the garments up and down, I could feel the doubt building up inside me. “Cassie, there is no way I’ll be able to fit into one of your dresses.”

“They’re not mine. I borrowed them from work. My cousin needed a dress for a wedding, so I talked my boss into letting me take a few choices home.”

Cassie worked for one of the most prestigious PR firms in all of Manhattan that catered to the rich and famous. She was always coming home with clothes that looked fresh off the runway. A bubble of excitement grew inside of me at the thought of wearing something so stunning.

“Are you sure?” I asked, looking at them again

“Of course, I’m sure. Now let’s go,” she said, sauntering towards her bedroom. “Time’s a wasting.”

Tonight was all about new beginnings and, if I ended up meeting someone tonight, that would be great. If not, I would be okay.

After an hour of sitting at Cassie’s vanity in her bedroom, she finally swung the chair around so I could get a glimpse of what she had done to my face and hair.

“See, just like old times,” she said with a hint of pride in her voice.

I glanced in the mirror, not recognizing the woman staring back at me. My long dark hair was in soft ringlets and my emerald green eyes were done in a smoky shade. The soft pink lip-gloss she had applied made my lips look full and softer. Normally, I would consider myself nothing special. Most would say I was a solid seven or a potential eight. But when I studied my reflection a bit more closely, I felt like I was an easy ten. Never in my life had I ever felt more beautiful. It was a foreign feeling for me, something I wasn’t used to.

“Here,” she said, holding out the short black dress with a low cut back that she had picked out for me earlier. The dress screamed ‘attention grabber,’ and seeing that I had spent years covering up my body, wearing something like that was going be a huge step.

“Also,” she said as she reached around on her bed and handed me a pair of black fuck-me heels and hoop earrings. “These will go great with that dress,” she winked.

My eyes widened in shock. “You’re kidding me, right?” I said pointing to the shoes that intimidated the hell out of me. “Cassie,” I stressed. “You know I love you, but you’re crazy.”

She cut me off with a glare that said, ‘don’t fuck with me’. “There will be no backing out tonight.”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but I’ll feel like a poser with those on,” I grumbled, pointing to the shoes. The dress was enough, but when you paired them with everything else, it just seemed a little extreme. At least it did to me.

She actually fucking laughed at me. “You’re going to look gorgeous. Now let’s get moving,” she said, forcing me to take the dress.

Grumbling, I snatched the scrap of material and the slutty stilettos from her hands. “I’m going to look ridiculous.”

Completely ignoring me, she pushed me into the other room so I could change. I finished sliding my body into the form-fitting material, strapped the shoes onto my feet, and turned around to grab my driver’s license off my nightstand. Sadness surged in my chest when my eyes landed on a picture of Brad. I walked over and picked it up, letting my fingers graze along his handsome face. He looked so happy, so full of love. Even though my heart ached every time I thought about him, I knew I had to let him go once and for all. I was tired of beating myself up over something I couldn’t change. It was time for both of us to move on.

I brought the frame to my chest, allowing myself a few minutes to let my emotions settle. I kissed his picture one last time then walked over to the closet and slipped it inside a box of mementos I had stashed away from our time together. I quietly closed the closet door and walked over to pick up my license. I made a promise to myself that I was going to put myself out there tonight because I was tired of being cooped up in my own head. There was a whole world out there for me to explore, and today was a new day and no matter what happened I would be okay.

Emerging from my bedroom, I opened the door slowly. Cassie raised her eyebrows and pushed herself off the wall. She lost interest in whatever was on her phone.

She stepped in front of me. “You look amazing, Emily.” She smiled, slowly spinning me around. “I can’t wait to see all the heads turn as you walk in.”

I took one last look at myself in the mirror. Cassie was standing behind me with a gleam in her eyes. “I’m so proud of you,” she said, her tone turning more serious. “I know this is a huge step, but it’s time to start focusing on new beginnings. Put all that Brad shit to rest and go out and have a little fun.”

I smiled back at my best friend, who had always been there for me. “Thanks, Cassie.” I felt my eyes get misty and silently cursed myself, because it felt like I was wearing a pound of mascara. “Let’s do this before I change my mind,” I said, then grabbed my purse and checked my make-up one last time.

Cassie’s eyes sparkled with mischief as she placed her hands on my shoulders. “There will be no turning back,” she said, pushing me towards the door.

I laughed. “After all this,” I said pointing to my dress. “Not a chance.”

She looked down at her watch while pushing me closer to the door. “That’s great to hear, because I think it’s time to find you a nice rebound fling with a hot friend for me!” She squealed as we walked out.

Shaking my head, I thought, what the heck have I gotten myself into?

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