Page 42 of Hard To Love

Chapter Fifteen

Aradiant beamof sunshine cut between my curtains and lit up half the room, calling me to start the day. A strong, muscular arm was wrapped around my waist and I turned underneath it to face the beautiful man lying next to me. I gently traced my fingers along his jaw,wishing I could commit this look to memory.

A soft moan came from his throat as he started to stir; his fingers were delicately circling my hip as he draped his leg over mine. His member started to press into my hip. My day was definitely starting out to be a very good day.

He slowly opened his eyes and smiled. “I could really get used to waking up like this every morning,” he whispered, kissing the tip of my nose.

A giggle escaped me as I rubbed up against him, “I can tell.”

“Are you teasing me?” He asked into my neck while his fingers trailed seductively along my rib cage.

I started to make a move to sit up, but without warning, he pulled me down and flipped me over so I was completely on my back.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

I tried to wiggle out from underneath him but it was clear that he wanted to keep me pinned to the mattress. “Do you always have this much energy when you wake up in the morning?”

He snorted out a laugh. “I’m about to show you exactly how much energy I have first thing in the morning and you’re going to enjoy every minute of it.” His mouth molded into mine in a swift kiss that had my toes curling and my ears pounding.

I forced myself to pull away and fought the temptation to give in as I broke the kiss. “How about I go make us some breakfast?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of having you for breakfast.”

I rolled my eyes. “You really do have a one-track mind. You know that, right?”

He nipped at my shoulder. “When it comes to you, absolutely.”

I playfully pushed his hands away. “Chase, come on. Let me up so I can make us both something to eat.”

He rolled over and placed his hand over his eyes in frustration. “Is there a reason why you’re turning me down?”

As much as I wanted to give in, I was craving more of an emotional connection with him. Especially after everything that happened last night. I felt as though we turned a page in our relationship.

My body very slowly crawled up next to his and removed his hand that had been resting over his eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

He lifted his eyebrow. “You can ask me anything.”

I rested my hands on his shoulders as his fingers roamed up and down my back. “Are you happy?” His fingers stilled instantly. “The reason I ask is, I was so scared yesterday when I thought I had lost you. It made me realize just how much you mean to me. I don’t ever want to feel like that again.” I tried to move away slightly but he only tightened his hold on me. “I just want to know if I make you happy.” God, this is so hard.

He took my face in his hands. “Where’s all this coming from? Of course you make me happy.”

There was a part of me that believed that I would never be enough for him. If I was going to invest any more time into this relationship, I needed to know if he felt the same way about me as I did him.

“It scares me to think that someday you’ll realize that I’m not worth the effort or your time. Then you’ll move on and…”

“Stop.” He commanded, his jaw tight. “I don’t know where all this is coming from.” He shook his head then looked up at the ceiling then back to me. “Why do you always think so little of yourself?” I stayed silent as his eyes slowly studied my face. I was afraid of what he would see if he looked closely enough.

“Why are you always so convinced that you’re not what I need?”

I instantly pulled back from him as my head started to swim with panic. I was fucking this up. Big time. “Chase, I’m sorry. It’s just…”

“Just what? Tell me?”

“It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.” I lied, hoping he wouldn’t ask me any more questions. This was turning into something that I wasn’t ready to deal with yet.

“Don’t bullshit me, Emily. Tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.” My eyes slid shut and I debated on whether or not I really wanted to lay all it out in the open. It was so extreme that it was downright confusing. Judging by the pressing look on his face, he wasn’t going to let me off the hook.

My eyes blinked while I tried to push away all the doubt in my head. It shouldn’t be as hard as it was, but then again, most things in life that were worth it, usually were.

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