Page 33 of Hard To Love

Chapter Eleven

Glancing at the clock, I cringed. After spending most of the morning tackling my inbox, I was now running late to meet Jack and Cassie for lunch. Just as I picked up my phone to put it in my purse, it started vibrating in my hand. My stomach fell when Brad’s name flashed across the screen. I stood there for two rings, but I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever, so I took a deep breath and answered.

“Hey, Brad.”

“Hi, Emily. I’m glad I caught you.” I heard a small wobble in his voice and sensed that he was nervous.

“How are you?” I asked, thinking that this call was so awkward. If you were to tell me two months ago, that talking to Brad would make me uneasy, I would have said you were crazy.

“I guess I’m doing okay.” He said, but I could tell he wanted this call to be all business. “I know you’re busy but I was hoping we could get together to talk over a few things. Are you free for lunch today by any chance?”

I hesitated for a minute trying to figure out how I was going to respond. It only took a second for it to sink in, that this would not go over very well with Chase.

“Actually, I'm on my way to lunch right now, but I’m meeting the gang. Can I take a rain check?” I asked, hoping my answer would buy me some time.

He hesitated, “How about dinner? Not a date, just two friends sharing a meal together.”

I shook my head and screwed my eyes shut, I knew it was just a meal and I was positive that I could handle it, but there was no way Chase would ever understand. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He sighed disappointingly, “Why? You were just about to agree to have lunch with me so what difference does it make that it’s dinner?” His sarcasm was clearly present and I shook my head mumbling a couple of curse words under my breath. My brain searched for the best way to respond. Would it really be that horrible of me to meet him for a bite to eat? After all, it was the least I could do given the way things ended. I prayed silently and hoped that this decision didn’t come back and bite me in the ass.

I chuckled nervously, ignoring the warning signs that popped up in my head. “You’re right. We can meet somewhere casual for dinner. Just friends.” I added the redundant reminder to ensure that there was no confusion about my intentions. Even though I was racked with worry, I reminded myself that this was completely innocent.

“Thank you.” He breathed into the phone sounding more relieved than excited. “How about Peppino’s, the pizza place on 57thStreet?” We both bristled at the awkwardness. I guess that was to be expected between two people who had shared so much together.

Even though I still had feelings for Brad, what we had was over. There was no doubt in my mind about whether or not I had moved on. And regardless of how I felt, those feelings along with all our special memories needed to get tucked away where they belonged.

I was with someone else now. As much as I didn’t want to keep secrets from Chase, I didn’t see the need in upsetting him for no reason. This was a friendly meeting, nothing more. Seeing me with another man must have been difficult, and because of that I needed to make sure he was okay. I owed him that much.

“Sounds perfect. How about 7-ish?” I hoped the -ish would make it feel less like a date and more like a meeting.

“Perfect! See you then.” He quickly hung up before I could change my mind. Guilt and self-doubt seeped through me as I imagined Chase accidentally stumbling upon our clandestine meeting. I just sat and stared at my phone in stunned disbelief that I had just added this unnecessary risk to my new relationship.

My unexpected phone call had me arriving late to meet my friends. By the time, I arrived they had already ordered drinks and there was an appetizer at the table.

Always the gentleman, Jack jumped up from his seat, and pulled out my chair while whispering in my ear, “I hope you don’t mind but we were getting hungry so we ordered you a Caesar salad.”

“No, that’s fine. I’m just sorry I’m late.” I said as I sat down picking up on a conversation between Cassie and Jack about a girl that Jack wanted her to introduce him to. After five minutes of listening to Jack plead his case, Cassie agreed to give him this woman’s phone number. I had remained silent throughout their conversation while barely picking at my salad.

Jack was the first one who noticed my silence. He snapped his hands in front of my face to get my attention. “Everything okay?” he asked giving me a concerned look.

I reached for my water and tried to sound casual. “Brad called and asked me to meet him for dinner later.”

Cassie’s hand paused on a piece of calamari that was on its way to her mouth. “What did you tell him?”

My hands played with the white linen napkin that rested on the table. Blowing out a deep breath, I looked across the restaurant avoiding her gaze. “I told him that I would see him at 7:00.”

“Really?” she said suspiciously. “And what about Chase?”

My head dipped down to the floor. “What about him?”

Her eyes narrowed on mine. She was onto me. “What did he have to say about you meeting your ex-boyfriend for dinner? After what happened at the bar a couple weeks ago, I can’t imagine that conversation went over very well.”

I pulled on my ponytail, and stared out the window of the restaurant. “I haven’t told him yet.” I said trying to sound confident, only my voice betrayedme.

“You’re shitting me!” She shouted and looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

I shook my head back and forth, “Nope.” I replied popping out the P on the end.“Considering I just got off the phone with Brad, I haven’t had a chance to talk to Chase yet.”

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