Page 20 of Hard To Love

My silence seemed to only fuel his theory. “Never mind, don’t fucking answer that.”

Without another word, he broke eye contact with me, turned around and stormed off. Tears stung my eyes as the result of my actions finally caught up to me. All I seemed to do was hurt him.

I swiped the tears that had trickled down my face, then walked away. As soon as I made it to the bathroom, I was pissed that there was a line, so I turned toward the exit to get a breath of fresh air, when I collided with a strong chest.

“Are you okay?” Chase asked tenderly, placing his strong hands on my shoulder.

I inhaled a painful breath then finally looked up to meet his eyes. “I just need a minute.” The reality of Brad seeing me with someone else, and the hurt he must have felt, caused a wave of guilt to rush through me.

“I’m sorry if I made things worse for you.” he apologized, looking remorseful. “I was just acting on instinct. I didn’t like the fact that he was making you feel uncomfortable and I wanted him to leave you alone. Do you still have feelings for him? Because, I would bet everything I fucking own that he still wants you. Is this something I should be concerned about?”

I cocked my head to the side; there was a look of concern tinged with a hint of vulnerability resting on his features. “Am I pissed that you made an awkward situation worse?” I shook my head, “A little.” His face pinched tight. “But I’m more pissed at myself for hurting him.”

He held my gaze for a bit. I wasn’t sure why his reaction was so important to me. Maybe because it made our connection seem more real to me. Like I wasn’t the only one who felt it.

I stood on my tippy toes and planted a kiss at the base of his jaw, letting his woodsy cologne settle around me. His hands slid down my shoulders, sending a chill down my spine. “If I wanted to be with Brad, I would be. I’m here with you because that’s what I want.”

The pull I felt towards him scared me on so many different levels. Despite all that had happened tonight, the only thing I wanted in that moment was to reassure him, and to make my intentions clear.

“Can we forget about what just happened and enjoy the rest of the evening? I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day. I don’t want to waste any more time talking about my ex. I just want to spend it with you.” I pulled on his hands and laced our fingers together. The little alcove we were standing in was dark, but the blueness in his eyes showed so much light, they nearly swept me away.

Cupping my cheek with his free hand, he leaned in to where our lips were almost touching. “That makes me very happy to hear.” His thumb brushed over my bottom lip. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, dragging his eyes across my face for confirmation.

“I’m sure.”

As we walked back to the table, I was committed to not letting the earlier events ruin the evening. Our drinks started disappearing quicker as the night progressed. The tension at the table receded and the light and friendly banter returned. All thoughts of Brad and what happened earlier seemed like a distant memory. One I was glad to put to rest for the night. I wasn’t going to let it take up any more space in my head.

It was about two hours later, four glasses of wine and three shots down that it was suggested by my friends that we continue the party at another bar down the street. That buzz had me feeling pretty damn good and I had every intention in keeping it going, but Chase made it known that he wasn’t a fan of the idea. He told Cassie that he would be taking me back to his apartment so I would be able to sleep off the hangover he was sure would follow the evening’s excessive drinking. Standing off to the side, I silently watched the two of them talk and exchange cell numbers as my tongue grew thick as the effects of the alcohol started to settle in. After we said goodbye to everyone, Chase reached for my hand and led me towards the exit.

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