Page 91 of Atone

“I understand the terms.”

“It’s too much, Alex. Ian didn’t even?—”

“I know exactly how far he got with you, Patience. What our mother let happen. You don’t need to excuse them.”

There’s a pause, and the room is quiet enough to hear her swallow. She’s fighting back her emotions. Torn between being a good daughter and an understanding sister.

“I’m not excusing anything.” She blinks away the glossy sheen to her eyes. “But do you think siding with Dad will change anything? Do you think if you agree to his plan, he’ll actually protect you? Or stop her? I can handle myself.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“Alex.” My name is a mix of defeat and irritation. “You’re all I have. I can’t lose you.Promise meI won’t lose you. No matter what he asks. No matter what lies he tells. You’re not the person he’s trying to turn you into.”

Always so hopeful. She has no idea how wrong she is.

“You’re my brother.” A tear slips down her cheek, and I wonder if it’s a relief to feel something so intensely that her body can discard it. “Promise me that whatever happens, I won’t lose you.”

“You won’t lose me.” It shouldn’t feel like a lie.

But it’s not a promise I should be making. Whether Patience likes it or not, our father is helping. If it weren’t for him, she might have lost me already.

Without him, this beast would have already torn me from the inside out.

I don’t tell her any of that. One of us needs to believe things can be better. Maybe if she believes it, someday that will be the case for her.

Or maybe someday, she’ll finally see the truth, and she’ll hate me as much as she hates them.

The moon is full, casting a halo of light over Mila’s dorm. I lean against the car, crossing one ankle over the other, trying to shake the exhaustion seeping to my core. It’s been years since I’ve slept longer than a few hours at a time, and when I do, my mind circles in a loop.

When I was at Montgomery, there wasn’t enough stimulation for it to be an issue. But now that I’m out, the exhaustion is quickly catching up with me.

Especially when Mila won’t stop digging into things that are going to get her into trouble. Snooping at Sigma House, searching records at the library. Mila is looking for answers, and if she’s not careful, she’s going to get them.

Or worse, she’ll draw the wrong person’s attention.

Digging into Sigma House is never as simple as it sounds. One stone unturned will lead to another. Declan weeded out the most rotted branches of the House, but there are always others. Offshoots that extend well outside of Briar Academy. That’s why Declan wanted Kole in LA this summer. We need to convince someone else to take the Sigma Sin helm. While the four of us are keeping a handle on the members living in the house right now, someoneneeds to become the new face of the fraternity. And it needs to be someone all members will listen to, past and present.

Even if only because they fear him.

I don’t care what happens so long as this pressure is off my shoulders sooner rather than later. I’m keeping my end of the deal with Declan, but when summer ends, I expect to be done.

A car pulls into the parking spot beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Alex?” My sister’s voice comes from my left, confusion lacing her tone. The car door is still hanging open as she stands frozen, staring at me. “What are you doing here?”

Her gaze moves from me to the dorm, where the universe answers her question for me in the form of Mila walking out.

Her long legs are on full display in her simple white summer dress, showing off her summer tan. The dress is modest on top, with a sweetheart neckline that accentuates her curves. But it’s loose around the thighs to shield the view of the knife she always has strapped there.

Mila could be in sweats and a T-shirt and stun me to silence. But this dress…

The only thing holding me in place is the fact that my sister decided to make an appearance.

Mila pushes her thick brown hair off her shoulders, slowing her pace when she spots Patience standing in the parking lot near me.

“Patience?” Mila’s nose scrunches. “I didn’t know you’d be here this weekend.”

“I came to town to have dinner with the family. I’m taking a flight back to LA later tonight, so I didn’t sayanything.” Her gaze moves from Mila to me. “What are you guys—are you?—”

---