Page 98 of Atone

“Aren’t there enough books in here?” I mutter, realizing how unwanted my input is when Ursa frowns at me. “Just saying.”

Thankfully, Patience skirts around my comment and draws her mother’s attention back to her. “I’m not a kid anymore, Mom. I know what’s in the books Dad gives him. I know what Dad has Alex doing.”

“Your brother does as he wishes.” Ursa waves her hand, dismissing Patience as she takes a drink.

“Because only Alex is allowed to do what he wants, right? Only his indiscretions are forgivable. Only he can make mistakes. While I can’t even leave Bristal for the summer without you and Dad making my life a nightmare?”

“Stop being so dramatic, Patience.” Ursa’s gaze cools. “We’ve funded you chasing yourdreamsas you call them. Getting your silly degree when you don’t need it. This summer was utterly unnecessary. You can’t possibly expect us to support it.”

“Why wouldn’t she need a degree?” The words are out before I can stop myself.

“Why would she need it?” Ursa directs the question at me without an ounce of friendliness in her tone. “What’s she going to use that for?”

“Getting a job after college?” Is this a trick question?

“A job. How ridiculous.” Ursa scoffs. “And this is the girl Alex has decided to take an interest in? I shouldn’t be surprised.”

My shoulders stiffen, but Patience is the one who responds.

“Why is that, Mother?” Patience’s voice is eerily calm. “Because God forbid Alex appreciates a woman who wants to be something more than a puppet?”

“Patience.” Ursa grips the cross around her neck. “Watch how you use our Lord’s name.”

“Or what?” All warmth has left the room. “You’ll have me recite the rosary?”

The quiet that overwhelms the room is almost unbearable. Every crackle of the fire sets me further on edge. On an especially loud snap of an ember, I jump. At least that movement is enough to shatter the standoff.

“Enjoy your summer, Patience.” Ursa taps her glass with her long red nail. “We’ll have more to talk about when it’s over.”

Nothing about her comment feels like well wishes. It’s a threat if anything.

Once again, they fall into their staring contest that has me feeling more unwelcome than I thought possible.

“Is there a bathroom I can use?” I stand up, brushing my hands down my white summer dress.

It’s the best excuse I can think of, and I need to get out of here until Alex comes back. If I thought their father was terrible, I’m getting the impression their mother is twenty times worse. I can’t figure out why Alex left mealone with the two of them after saying he’d be at my side all night.

“There’s a bathroom outside the library, three doors to the left.” Ursa’s cold gaze meets mine. “I can call someone to guide you.”

“I’m sure I can find it.” I force a smile.

She must think I’m completely incompetent if I can’t find a bathroom a few doors down.

What century is this anyway? If a house is so large you can’t find a bathroom, is it even considered a home at that point?

Patience doesn’t meet my gaze or say anything as I walk away, but she’s no longer looking at her mother either. Her focus is on a large cross that hangs over the fireplace. Besides the simple cross necklace Patience sometimes wears, I’ve never thought of her as very religious. One visit inside the Lancaster residence, and I’m getting hints as to why.

The large door creaks as I step out of the library and into the massive hallway. It’s wide enough to be a room all on its own, with tables and vases lining the path.

Since I don’t actually have to go to the bathroom, I walk slowly, taking in the paintings that frame the walls. Real paint is bubbled and lifted on the canvas. They must have cost a fortune.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Everything here is real. Not a print or brushed gold, but solid and not the least bit fake. Unlike the people.

Stopping in front of a tall painting of the family, I crane my neck to take in the full picture. Alex and Patience are just under two years apart in age, and they look like they couldn’t be any older than eight and ten in the image.

Alex’s hair was blonder then.

Brighter.

---