“Cut the shit.” I spin her until her back is against the brick, and there’s no escape. “Be fucking straight with me for once.”
“You want me to be straight with you? Fine. You’re the one drawing all these blurry lines and expecting me to understand them. One second, you’re blackmailing me. The next, you say you want to hack whatever you think I’m hiding inside my head. And through it all, you can’t keep your hands off me every five seconds. It’s confusing.” She’s out of breath as her body presses flush to the brick wall.
This might be the most honest she’s ever been with me.
The most vulnerable.
It’s absolutely stunning.
“You want the truth, Teal?” I ask, running my thumb over her lower lip, and she nods. “I’ve hated you for as long as I can remember because it was easy, and it was right. It was what I was raised to do. And honestly, watching you burn with rage every time I looked into your pretty eyes woke me up inside. It was easier to hateyou if I couldn’t have you, so that’s what I did because your hate was better than your indifference.”
I shouldn’t be admitting this to her. It’s easier to hide behind the mask until my task is done. But after last night’s discussion with my father, I need to take control of this before he tries to turn it around.
“What are you trying to say, Declan? You hated me because you wanted me? That doesn’t even make sense.” Her eyebrows pinch. “You don’t even like me.”
“You know nothing about what I like or what I want.” I release her, stepping back. “No one does.”
There’s only one person who makes me slip—who makes me lose control—and that’s Tealene Donovan. Touching her, being near her, admitting my secrets to her makes me feel like I’m free-falling into a black hole.
She steps forward when I try to step back. She traps me just like she’s always done, even when she doesn’t realize it.
“We can’t do this for real,” she says.
“Why not?”
“Our fathers, for one.” She breathes out a laugh. “But also, you don’t actually want this. I know you, Declan. You chase whatever’s off-limits. You like breaking the rules just to prove to people they can’t tell you what to do. This is fun now because everyone’s up in arms about it. But once you get whatever answers you’re looking for and people are no longer interested, you’ll get bored.”
“Thanks for the psychoanalysis.”
“I’m just pointing out facts.”
I hum, stepping closer to her. “Then let me point out a few facts… You’re wrong.”
She watches me, waiting for me to continue, her eyebrows knitting when she realizes I’m done. “That’s it? Your whole argument is that I’m wrong?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my god, Declan. You’re ridiculous.” She shakes her head. “You hate me. You’ve been horrible to me for years.”
“I know.”
“Do you? Because now you’re acting like you just want me to forgive and forget. Worse, you want me to believe you actually give a shit.”
“I do.” She has no idea how much I do, and she has no idea what I’ve done for her because of it. “This has changed, and you need to accept that.”
She bites her lip. “I don’t know how.”
“Yes, you do, Teal.” I trace my fingertips over her jaw. “This stopped being fake the moment you agreed to it in your studio. You’re just too scared to admit it to yourself.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Is this real for you?”
I lower my mouth to hers and taste her lip balm, pulling her lip between my teeth and biting down until she moans.
“You’re the most real thing I know. So real, you give me a constant fucking headache.”