Page 2 of Saint

I stare out at the passing trees and try not to think about why I’m itching to get out of this car with every passing moment. I’m anxious to get through tonight, like checking it off the list will cure the nerves creeping up my throat with every second.

If the party and Liam’s friends aren’t enough to make tonight feel monumental, his expectations for it tip the scales.

Liam probably thinks I didn’t see the condom he slipped into his wallet while I was getting ready, but the corner of the foil peeked out as he casually tucked it in his pocket.

The pressure is coming, and I’ve been expecting it.

In every relationship, it inevitably does. One boyfriend after another wonders when I’m going to give it up to them.

I don’t blame them; I’m not saving myself for marriage. But every time I get close, something doesn’t feel right. And now, here I am, a nineteen-year-old college student with my V-card burning a hole through every relationship. I’m ready to just get rid of it. If only I could get past whatever is holding me back.

Part of me hopes Liam is right about tonight. Maybe stepping this far outside of my comfort zone is what I finally need to just let go.

To live a little.

It’s either that or I’m going to die a virgin.

Looking over at Liam again, I try to picture it. He’s tall and athletic. We’ve fooled around enough for me to know he’s easy on the eyes when he’s shirtless, and he’ll be decent in bed.

If only I felt those butterflies everyone’s always talking about. The flutter that’s supposed to kick up under my ribs when his lips press to mine. I don’t know what it will take to wake them up; all I know is I’ve still yet to feel them. Not for lack of trying.

Liam shoots me a wink when he catches me staring, and I turn back to face the road.

Not one butterfly.

At least he’s relaxing from our argument earlier, even if he still refuses to drive the speed limit.

I search the road for a distraction. Shadows, the moon, the stars. There’s not one building in sight, and this far into the forest, we haven’t passed another car for miles. Trees blend together as Liam takes another turn, and when we do, something catches my attention on the side of the road.

“Is that a person?”

Leaning forward, I try to make out the figure in the darkness. A tall frame is cloaked in the night until the clouds part, momentarily lighting the forest.

“Looks like it.” Liam starts to slow the car, and I can’t help the irritation that wells up inside me when he chooses now to stop after he’s been speeding around every corner just to piss me off.

“What are you doing?” My eyes widen. “They could be a serial killer.”

Liam laughs mockingly, and I hate it. “You read too many books. It’s probably just someone headed to the same party we are.”

“Then where’s their car?” It’s a long drive and too far to walk.

“Maybe they broke down.” Liam shrugs.

“Maybe.” Except, I don’t remember seeing anything but trees for the last hour.

“Just chill, okay, Violet. You act like I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” Once more, his irritation bubbles to the surface.

The car slows as we approach the figure, and finally, I get a better look at him.

He’s tall, wearing dark jeans and a black hoodie. And he’s lean, so he probably is a fellow college student. But his broad shoulders and rigid stance have my skin prickling.

He pauses on the side of the road at our approach, and in the silence of the night, the tires crackle against the pavement.

Anticipation.

Excitement?

Something must be wrong with me. Fear stirs up something electric that has my nerves tingling.

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