Page 96 of Reckless Promises

Mom trained me well. Some fish are only allowed to grow as big as their environment, and that’s what was expected of me.

Never be too big.

Never be too loud.

Always bury your feelings if they will make the men around you uncomfortable.

And like a naïve girl, I thought Cillian wanted all of me.

He was the first person in my life to see my brighter side. To want to bask in my light. But like reality rushing down on me, I watch him change in front of my face. I watch his eyes glaze with the severity of what’s happened. With the impact of all our actions catching up with us.

We were reckless, thinking we could outrun who we’re supposed to be.

And as I watch his expression harden, I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t care—if anything, I think he might care too much. And that’s a dangerous position to be in for a man with his level of influence.

“What are you going to do?” I ask when he stops pacing.

He needs me to be strong right now. Regardless of what I’ve been through, he needs me to slip into the role I was trained for. He needs his mafia bride—calm, understanding, collected. He needs me to support him.

“I—” He starts, but it cuts off with a shake of his head. “Just tell me what you ate.”

“Italian soup. We were still waiting on our meals.”

“And did you see anyone suspicious?”

Cillian’s shooting off questions like this is an interrogation, and I hope it’s just him trying to create some distance for his emotions, and not him trying to detach from me.

I shake my head. “It was just me and Fallon. They seated us in a back room kind of like the one at the restaurant in Bridgeport. No one else was there except security guarding the doors.

“And what did you drink?”

“Water.”

He nods, glancing down at his phone when it beeps. “I need to touch base with Daniel.”

“It’s not his fault.”

Cillian’s gaze darts back up to me, but he doesn’t say anything. His eyes move from my messy hair to my pale cheeks, all the way down to my hospital gown. And unlike when he watches me from the edge of our bed at home, right now his gray eyes are cold.

Two knocks come at the hospital door, drawing his attention.

“Mrs. Cross.” The doctor peeks his head in. “I need to check your vitals.”

Cillian nods, taking a step back. “We’re done. I’m going to check in with Daniel and Shane, then I’ll be back.”

The doctor lifts a hand like he’s going to say something, but Cillian storms out, shutting the door behind him.

I watch as he circles the outside of my room, ignoring everyone he passes, until he stops in front of Michelle. She reaches for his forearm with whatever she’s saying. And even if he pulls back at her touch, it happens. Her fingers graze him and the ounce of doubt living inside me stirs.

While he’s out there with her, I’m alone in a room.

The doctor writes a few things down in my chart and then stops at my bedside. “Mrs. Cross, I need to go over a few of your tests with you. Do you want to wait for your husband?”

I shake my head. There’s no use waiting.

He won’t come back until it’s convenient for him, and nothing I can say will change that.

35

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