Page 11 of Lies Like Love

Sayingsomedaylike I wasn’t scared of what that meant—moving on. From a life I’d rather forget and a stepbrother I wish I hadn’t continued to miss.

At least I was free. Or so, I thought. Until last night when I looked into Jude’s eyes and realized it was a lie I’d been telling myself for years.

Survival instinct that kept me going.

I might have been the one who told him to leave, but it was the fact that he actually did that broke me. After all he’d done, after all I’d lost, it was him walking away that was the final straw. No matter how much I hated him, somewhere deep in my chest, he was embedded.

Something made crystal clear with one look into his wicked, green eyes.

One moment soaked in blood.

Eleven years drowning in secrets.

It never mattered how good I was at telling people I’d moved on, deep down I never believed it.

Finishing my coffee, I make my way to my bedroom and pull out my jewelry supplies. I spread them out on the bed and tie my hair in a bun as I get to work, determined to distract myself from the sinking feeling spreading through my chest.

Between seeing Jude last night and agreeing to be a ring girl for quick cash today, I barely recognize myself. But I have to do what I need to survive.

At least, that’s what I tell myself.

Last night, I finally listened to my best friend—I took a risk.

Yes, it blew up in my face, but I can’t regret it. There are people out there who believe in the things I create. People who are willing to buy my jewelry and wear it proudly. I’m not giving up my dreams because of a terrible, accidental run in with my ex-stepbrother.

If the piercer had been anyone other than Jude, I’d have easily convinced them to sell my things. But as always, the universe had other plans.

Last night was a reminder of the girl I’ll always be deep down inside. The one who bleeds through the surface no matter how deep I bury her. The girl I’ve spent years hoping would someday disappear.

Someday.

I string a gem and shake my head, trying to get Jude’s green eyes out from where they’re carved in every thought.

He was always my weakness, regardless of how wrong my feelings for him were. Having him in my life was better than not having him at all.

Or so I thought.

Every step closer to him, he found new ways to push me away. Slowly deteriorating, and I ignored every warning sign until it was too late.

He broke us.

He was free.

While I was in chains.

I string another gem and notice what I’m making without realizing it. A collection of green and blue like him and me coming together in ways we can’t.

Tossing the necklace to the ground I lie back and close my eyes. Jude Carlisle is a black hole housing all my regrets. A man there’s no escaping, no matter how many years have passed.

4

Fel

Mompullsmyshouldersback and smooths my hair. “Stand up, Felicity. At least pretend I’ve raised you properly.”

She circles around me and wipes underneath my eyes before stepping back and looking me over, giving me a final nod of approval. I’m not sure why she seems nervous, because she’s perfected the art of hiding her emotions, but her eyes dart around the room as she straightens the straps on my dress for the hundredth time.

“There.” She presses her own lips together, smoothing her lipstick. “I’m going to make my rounds. Be good and smile please.”

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