Page 115 of Lies Like Love

They knew I was looking for answers, so they showed their hand just enough to make me aware they’re still playing this game. They want me to know the trap is set—I’ve stepped in it. They’re not letting her go.

Neither will I.

Fel’s sigh shrinks her against my body. Gentle innocence she lets out with each breath.

I walk us both out of the water and tug her to my lap in the sand. Her back is to my chest, and I hope my evil isn’t strong enough to spread.

Forgiveness is a door to all the bad I’ve hidden from her.

She’s relaxed now. Coming down from the adrenaline of last night. If I were smart, I’d take her home. But with my arms wrapped around her, it’s impossible to move.

Salty air fills my lungs, and ocean waves rock my mind in a chaotic world. I’m not ready to let this moment go.

Fel accepts the fact that I kept things from her, and I want to believe we’ll walk away with her understanding intact. Because my admission should have pushed her away when all it did was draw her closer.

I carried the burden for both of us. I protected her and let her hate me for it.

For her own good.

She’s too good for me and always has been. Proven once more in this moment.

Trusting me.

Forgiving me.

Understanding me.

I don’t deserve it.

Fel stirs in my arms, blinking up at me. There’s a lightness in her gaze I haven’t seen since we were younger. Peace that puts the demons to sleep, and I wish it were that easy.

I tighten my arms on her waist to stop time from corroding her with the dark realization this nightmare is far from over.

“Tired?” I ask, dipping my nose to her neck and breathing her in.

“Just thinking.”

I kiss the top of her head, her usual strawberry scent replaced with salty ocean air and sand.

She’s as endless as water, and just as impossible to contain.

“We can go if you need to.” She shifts against my back, sitting up taller and resting her head against my shoulder. “We were out here all night and I’m sure you’ve got appointments today.”

“Echo took care of it.” I texted her while Fel was sleeping last night, knowing we wouldn’t be back anytime soon.

Part of me keeps waiting for reality to crash down on her. For Fel to blame me for my part in not helping her sooner. I wait for her to realize I’m just as bad as them for keeping my mouth shut.

Her expression doesn’t so much as shift. Eyes wide open like the ocean before me, revealing all her secrets. Silence that stretches as long as this beach as we read the only truth that ever really mattered.

Mine or not, I’ve always protected her.

Fel tips her face up. “So, when you saw me again all these years later, you didn’t know there was still footage out there?”

“No.”

“But you suspected?”

“Not that there was footage.” I was an idiot, and I should have, but I was seventeen and wanted to burn the bridge and be done with it. “But I always suspected there was unfinished business.”

---