Page 9 of Lies Like Love

“Says you.” My insides break with each word. “I can’t do this anymore, Jude. All you do is hurt everyone around you.”

Maren flicks a lock of my hair off my shoulder. “Earth to Fel.”

“Sorry.” I sit up and reach for my coffee, realizing it’s cold.

I barely slept last night, and it’s catching up with me.

Some people have dreams, others nightmares. I’m not sure what happens when I close my eyes, except that each morning the light isn’t unwelcome because I’m finally awake.

“Someone’s distracted.” Maren drops into the chair across the table from me. “Does this have anything to do with seeing a certain stepbrother last night?”

“He’s not my… I just—” But I don’t know what to say, so I dig my fingers into my scalp and rake them through my long hair. “He’s here. He’s been here all along.”

The last time I saw Jude, I told him I never wanted to see him again, but I didn’t expect him to actually listen to me. In the two years we were a quasi-family, he made a habit of purposely doing the opposite of anything I asked of him.

Except for that.

He burned my life to the ground and left, never looking back.

“Eleven years.”

Maren frowns. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

It’s a lie with so many veins they reach every nerve. But some things I can’t talk about, even with my best friend.

Maren knows my mom was married to Jude’s dad for two years when we were teenagers. And that I’ve hated him since. But that’s the extent of it, and it’s enough.

No one knows what really happened except for me and him. And even back then, I had a sick feeling I only knew half of it.

I sit up tall and hope Maren doesn’t notice the panic sweeping through me. Rolling my shoulders back, I take a deep breath and compose myself.

“Sorry to ruin your fantasy of hooking up with the hot piercer.”

“Do not apologize.” Maren reaches across the table and plants a hand over one of my own. “If I’d have known who he was, I never would have dragged you down there last night. And to think I wasted a night with my vibrator thinking about him.”

“Gross.”

She purses her lips but doesn’t take it back. After all, I’m sure she’s not the only woman who’s wasted a fantasy or two on Jude Carlisle.

He was always attractive, even back then. Tall, built, with a possessive presence that made girls desperate for his attention. He was solid muscle, captain of the football team, and a teenage fantasy. All things I shouldn’t have paid attention to, considering we were supposed to be family.

Too bad my heart and head never agreed when it came to him.

But while I always thought Jude was attractive as a teenager, nothing could have prepared me for the man I was face-to-face with last night. A hardened, cut version of himself. Carved and defined. Ink lacing his skin. Demons, like the ones I always suspected raged inside him.

The kind of disarming appearance that only brings pain.

“What are you up to today?” Maren asks, ignoring that I’m drifting with thoughts of Jude as she pulls her dark curls into a ponytail.

“I’m going back to the drawing board.” I frown, standing up and walking into the kitchen. “I need to scope out other ways to expand my business.”

Since last night blew up in my face.

I stick my coffee mug in the microwave and nuke it because if I’m going to get through today on zero sleep then I’m going to need some caffeine.

“If you need some quick cash, just come with me tonight. They’re always short on girls, and the guys would love you.”

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