“You’re good for me.”
He frowns. “I’m not good for anyone.”
I press my lips together, tracing the hard lines of his face with my gaze, trying to read the softness in his expression because he fights so hard to hide it. I graze my thumb up over his cheek and brush the stubble that rubs the pads of my fingers roughly.
“Then why did you tell me all that?” I challenge him. “Why do you let me see some of the good if you don’t believe it exists?”
“Because I can’t help it.”
My heart tightens in my chest, but I try not to let it show on my face because he’d see me falling so hard for him it’s going to break every bone in my body when I hit the ground.
“People always look at me like I’m broken, or fucked up, or whatever I let them see.” He chokes on the last word. “But that’s the surface, Underneath is so much worse. I’m a fucking mess, and all I want to do is show that to you for some reason.”
“To scare me away?”
“Maybe hoping it doesn’t.” Honesty and fear flash in his eyes.
And I understand what he’s saying more than he realizes. Because I don’t show people my sharp edges either. Except with him, I offer them just to see if he can handle it.
I hold his face in my hands as he holds my body in his, but it’s so much more than our flesh and bones in this bed. We are raw hearts laying beneath the blankets. We are bleeding out all over each other, and it stings, and it swirls, and it’s beautiful.
“I get tired of dancing,” I admit. “Not the dance part, necessarily, just everything that comes along with it. But it’s all I’ve had for so long; I don’t know who I am without dance.”
Rome rakes my hair back and leans in to plant a kiss on the apple of my cheek. It’s so sweet and intimate, I bask in it.
“You’re more than what you do, Lili.”
I can’t help the unamused chuckle that breaks out of me.
“I’m serious. You’re so much more than just a dancer.” He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “You’re smart and inquisitive. You see past everyone’s bullshit. You’re darkness, but you’re also light. A yin and yang always a fraction away from tipping too far from one to the other. And you’re wild. Beneath the facade they’ve made you into, you’re actually someone else entirely. It’s beautiful.”
Rome sees right through, carves me open and places the parts I’ve feared to have on display between us.
“They don’t see that.”
He holds my hand against his mouth. “I do.”
Something too close to peace coats this moment. Silence sits between us and with the thick windows in his house, we can’t even hear the sounds of the forest stirring. There’s nothing but me and Rome in this room, bare for each other in all the ways that matter. Numb and broken and not fearing the other one seeing it.
I’ve always worried about what someone would think if they could see the real me. The twisted parts that tangle deep. I wondered if there was anyone who could dip their heart in my darkness and still love me.
Why is it the right person comes at the wrong time? Or that the right person is also the wrong person entirely?
Because there is no time or place where Rome Moreno and Lili Chen make sense. There is no world where the two of us fit. We barely fit in the confines of our own lives, much less each other’s.
I pull my hand from his mouth and rake it into his hair, moving my body flush against his as we stare into each other’s eyes. His skin warms with my own, and I wonder if fusing us together can prevent them from ever tearing us apart.
Rome closes his eyes and tips his forehead so it’s touching mine. He lets out a deep breath, and I feel the entire weight in his chest release as he whispers, “If I had a heart, I’d give it to you.”
“You do.” I nudge him with my nose, and he looks into my eyes. “And you already have, just like I’ve given you mine.”
We shouldn’t have. It’s an error in judgment from two people who know better than to play in games like love. But it doesn’t mean we could avoid it, either.
“I told you I’m not the man to own your heart, Lili.”
“Too late.” I tip my chin up to press my lips against his.
Rome’s fingers tangle in my hair and he rolls, pressing me onto my back. I open my legs to make room for him between them. And without so much as breaking the kiss, he reaches down and lines himself up, thrusting inside me and fueling himself with the air that escapes from my chest.