Page 85 of Worth the Trouble

Me too, I almost say. But I hold it in because I’m worried it would tell them too much. That I see it. That he lets me in. That I’m falling, and I want to grab him and take him over the cliff with me.

“We bring it out in each other.” It’s probably too honest, but I can’t help it.

I haven’t had female friendships in as long as I can remember, and it feels good how the girls in Rome’s group invite me in like one of their own. There’s no judgment, just kindness.

“That you do.” Eloise nods, sharing a glance with Cassie.

I think they’re going to keep asking questions, but they smirk at each other and then seem to shift gears.

“So, how’s practice going?” Cassie asks. “You’ve got a big performance coming up soon, right?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’m performing in the show at Eden at the end of the month.”

“Sounds incredible.”

“It’s a lot of work, but I love it.” I shrug. “Then I’m off to who knows where. The company is working out my next move.”

Them, my mom, and Vaughn. My stomach turns at the words unsaid. The people pulling strings, not offering me the scissors to cut them. I might be enjoying the small amount of freedom meeting Rome and being in Denver has allowed me, but soon enough it will end. It’ll fade with any memory I try to hold onto, and I’ll be numb again.

I’m not sure what the expression on my face looks like, but the smiles on Cassie’s and Eloise’s faces both shift into something unreadable. And even if they don’t know me well, I wonder if they also feel the air leaving the room. My life becoming a figment of what could have been if I’d made different decisions.

The strike of a cymbal cuts the tension and my eyes dart to the stage, where I see the band getting ready.

“You said you’d be by the stage,” Sebastian says, coming through the crowd with Adrian and latching onto Cassie.

“We hadn’t made it there yet.” She grins, turning her body into him.

The way they look at each other is palpable. Happiness, hope, light—whatever they have is something I’ve never thought myself capable of, but they make me want it.

Looking over at Adrian and Eloise, it’s more subtle. They’re holding hands, and he’s whispering something in her ear. They aren’t as outwardly affectionate as the other members of the band. Still, when he pulls back and their eyes connect, I swear the air crackles.

For the first time in my life, I want something more than the numbness that comes with zero attachments. My eyes move to Rome at the thought. He’s on stage setting up—dark focus in his eyes and tattoo armor covering his flesh. I want to be the person he lets inside it.

A group of girls is forming in the crowd near him. He’s easily the most famous person up on stage, and the crowd takes notice. But when he looks up, he scans the room as if he’s looking for something in particular, and when his eyes find me and pause, I swear we both feel the permanence that shouldn’t exist.

28

Lili

We’rerightupfront,at the base of the stage, with a full view of the band performing. And for the first time, I get the full effect of what I’ve read about—the Riff King in action.

Rome Moreno.

Music spills out of him as his fingers dance over the guitar strings. He tips his head back and closes his eyes, but the third eye on his throat still watches the room of people, proving no one is capable of escape. He wants to see them beg for him—to ache for him. And I do. We all do.

Up there, Rome is relaxed in a way I’ve never seen him, not even after sex. Like the stage is his home, and it’s the only place he feels comfortable letting his guard down completely. He moves his body with the music. His lean muscles flexing under the weight of the song. The demons on his flesh taunt the audience.

Women claw at his feet, crowding the edge of the stage with their eyes begging him to look at them. He’s a god in his element. A man at peace—something I didn’t think possible for him. And he makes everyone in the room want a piece of a man already carved to Swiss cheese through memories alone.

The song slows, and Rome backs off the heavy notes, smiling out at the audience. I don’t know this band, but they’re good. They have chemistry, even with Rome, who doesn’t usually play with them.

Beside me, Cassie is caged in Sebastian’s arms and swaying to the music. Adrian and Eloise are on the other side of them. And I wish I had the warmth of Rome’s arms around my waist like they were earlier, but it would mean I’d miss seeing him like this.

I think I might love seeing this side of him.

All sides of him.

The inked enigma that messes up my clean slate.

---