Page 21 of Worth the Trouble

“What about you, sweetheart?” I change the subject. “I assume there’s not much in the middle of nowhere for you. Why choose to rent El’s house instead of just staying in the city?”

Lili’s gaze drops to her fingers, and she grips the hemline of her really short dress and clenches it like she’s trying not to let me see whatever thought she just had.

I get the impression she’s used to showing off a certain side of herself, and it comes apart a little around me. And I kind of like that I break through her cracks and get hints at someone a lot less sure of herself underneath.

“I don’t mind the drive when my car is working.” Lili’s eyes flick up to meet my gaze. Deep pools that hide all the things she doesn’t say. “And I don’t mind the quiet. Most of the time I prefer it, actually. At least then I can still pretend there’s some of me left.”

I’m not sure what she means by that, but deep down I get it at the same time. If her life as a dancer is anything like mine when it comes to fame, I’m sure she spends most of it living on display.

“We should go.” Lili stands so fast I’m surprised she doesn’t fall over in her heels. “I’m already running late.”

I’m not sure why she went from relaxing to suddenly being in such a rush, but I nod and stand without saying anything.

She’s right,we should go. I need to get her out of here. Lili in my space is a bad idea. She doesn’t belong with her questions that dig too deep and her eyes that see too much.

I’m not sure what it is about her that draws out the darkness in me, but I feel the veins bubbling under my skin. Memories and smoke and blood begging to show.

Girls like Lili are nothing but trouble. And not the kind I’m used to getting in.

7

Rome

Nothinggoodcomesfromsitting around in one spot too long. Too much time to think—to marinate. I try to ignore the pressure building between my temples, but like a kettle on the stove, it increases every day.

It’s never been this difficult for me to distract myself from the shit in my head. In the past, I’d drink enough whiskey to light a match to my thoughts and enjoy watching them burn. But that’s my problem. They always leave ashes behind, waiting for the wind to kick up and blow them around. And the longer I sit here, I feel the tornado swirling.

Maybe it’s that we have no immediate plans to head back out on tour. Maybe it’s just years of bodies finally floating to the surface. All I know is I’m over it.

“Where are we at with signing Manic Idols?” Sebastian glances up from his phone and leans back, looking at Adrian.

Adrian closes his laptop. “Waiting for their attorney to get back on the final review of their contract.”

“Do you expect any curveballs?”

Adrian shakes his head.

“Good.” Sebastian’s gaze moves to me. “What about Girl vs Hate? You said they’re good.”

“You’ll like them.” I pop my knuckles. “They’ve got potential, and they remind me of us when we got started.”

What used to seem like yesterday feels like a whole other lifetime right now. Back then we were kids chasing music, skirts, and highs. And now, here we are, acting like actual adults and giving a fuck about what we’re doing with our lives.

When did we grow up?

Half the band is sober, and almost all of them are settled down. We’re starting our own label and taking on real responsibilities. Knowing if it goes sideways, it impacts other people. They’re putting their careers in our hands and trusting us not to screw them sideways.

Sebastian looks back at Adrian. “When are they coming back in?”

“Thursday. El said Magnum Records is also interested, so we need to move fast if you want to sign them.”

“They won’t entertain Magnum.” I laugh.

Sebastian’s eyes pinch, and Eloise looks up from her phone for the first time during this conversation.

“Just trust me.”

Girl vs Hate is the first band we’ve seen that has really caught my attention. They’ve got a quality unlike the others. I can’t put my finger on what exactly draws me to them, but I feel something stir in my bones when they play. And the raw, real quality makes something perfectly clear to me—they aren’t looking for a label like Magnum. They came to us for a reason, and I’m sure they’ll wait.

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