Page 111 of Worth the Trouble

She takes in a sharp inhale at the sight of me, but she doesn’t immediately tell me to go away.

I sit on the coffee table facing her, so as not to disturb her setup on the couch, and I hope she doesn’t come to her senses.

She looks so innocent like this, like an angel made to tempt the devils of this world, and I’m one of them. Her long black hair is tied off her face, and she’s not wearing a dash of makeup. Her big brown eyes are wide, and they might as well be lips because they drink me in at a glance. I’m tempted to crawl under the blanket and hold her, but I’m terrified to put myself out there again when it comes to her.

After Noah showed up at my house, I couldn’t get what he said out of my head. I know Lili pushed me away, but it’s only because I let her. I know what I saw when we were together. She didn’t want to let go any more than I did. I just need to stand here and hope she sees it.

“How is it?” I look at her leg, still hating that she’s going through pain. I’d happily be the one to experience it for her if I could.

“You’re here,” she says, not answering the question.

Her voice is the sweetest sound to my ears, and hearing it now, I realize how much I’ve missed it.

Yep—I’m a punk ass and totally whipped. The guys are going to give me so much crap about this.

“Thought you could scare me away, sweetheart?” I lift an eyebrow in a challenge. “I don’t remember either of us callingmercy.”

Her eyebrows pinch, before softening. “You’re here.”

She repeats it like she can’t believe it, and then her entire face fills with so many emotions I don’t think I’ve ever seen a person wear that many at once. Her hands come to her face and her eyes seal shut and tears start falling out of them. She sobs so loud it fills the entire silence of the room.

“Hey, hey.” I drop to my knees on the floor beside the couch and hold her cheeks.

At the feel of her warm skin, I’m not sure how I ever walked away from her or let her push me. I swore I was done letting her run, and then I went and let her do it anyway.

“Why are you crying?” I rub my thumbs over her cheeks, and it smears her tears across them.

She blinks her eyes open, looking at me like I’m not real. But I’ve never been more real for someone. She asked me once to tell her something real, and instead, I’ve shown her.

Every bit of me.

“I pushed you away,” she says, choking on the words as they come out. “You were the only one who saw me, and I went and pushed you away. I’m so messed up.”

“That makes two of us.”

She laughs through her tears, and it’s a beautifully painful sound. “So now you’re a masochist?”

I run my thumb along her cheek. “Only for you.”

Lili blinks as her laugh fades, and she just looks at me. Like she’s seeing so many things in my eyes. And I want to know what all of them are. Lili’s the only person who has come face-to-face with the demons inside me and made them quieter. She’s the only one who has accepted their existence and not tried to fix me.

She understands what it’s like to feel broken, and she’s okay with the fact that sometimes people will always be pieces. She understands what it means to exist as someone permanently broken.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

I shrug. “I shouldn’t have left. But we’re both bad at this, so…”

The smallest smile creeps up her face, and I’m tempted to capture it with a photo. Or better yet, my lips.

“If I’d have stayed, I would have told you to stop shutting me out because you’re the only person I’ve never closed off.” I trace a tear on her cheek and then plant my hand over her heart. “I’d tell you there’s no use fighting this.”

“I know,” she whispers, and it sounds like a confession.

“Then tell me, does this heart belong to someone else, Lili?” I ask her, like I did before but with different intentions.

She shakes her head.

“Then make room for me.”

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