Page 47 of Worth the Trouble

My back hits a wall and thrusts me into another dimension where Lili stands with her hands on my cheeks and worry in her eyes.

People don’t worry about me because I don’t need them to. I’ve got thick skin and thicker emotions. I’m fucking molasses.

“Rome.” Lili’s eyes search my face, and I’m not sure how she’s still here when she was just walking away. “What are you on?”

I think I nod, not that it’s an answer. But I’m on something—like a roller coaster.

“Hey.” She pulls me closer. “Come here.”

Her hands wrap in mine, and we click together. I actually hear us—click.

LEGOs.

I wasn’t allowed shit when I was a kid, and I always wanted them. And here she is.

Lili leads me to a room and shuts the door behind us. Looking around, I realize it’s mine, and somehow, she knew. Or I told her?

Why is she here?

“You texted me.”

Did she read my mind, or did I ask that out loud?

She guides me to the bed, and I lay down. The ceiling is a kaleidoscope of her face. Happy. Sad. Worried. In. Out. Distant. Near.

She places something cool on my forehead, but I’m not sure where it came from, only that it feels so good on my skin.Shefeels good on my skin.

I need her Saturn eyes more than I’ve ever needed anything.

I reach for Lili and pull her down onto the bed next to me, pressing my body against hers. I’ll melt us together to be her whole. Only, she doesn’t melt with me, staring at me instead, like she can’t read my cursive thoughts.

“I’m a mess,” I tell her.

Lili doesn’t say anything. At least not with her mouth. Her eyes do a lot of talking. She leans back and props her head in her hand, facing me.

“Please stay.”

Because I’m melting. I’m falling. I’m nothing.

She surprises me by nodding and not pulling away when I reach for her hand. One touch and she coats my whole body with every feeling.

She stares at me—in me. So long it’s minutes or weeks. At some point, I’m sure I close my eyes. Or maybe they were shut all along, and I’m imagining her face as she holds my hand.

Fucking LEGOs.

15

Lili

Ishouldhaveleft.

Instead, I’m in Rome’s bed, staring at him with less than a foot between us.

How do I keep falling down this well? Tossing myself in like a penny and wishing for things the water has no power of granting.

I stare into the abyss of the water, anyway, replaying last night in a loop. I went home, intending to sit on the couch and watch a movie. Finding myself changing and re-reading Rome’s text over and over again. Until the words drew me to his house—a place I knew I didn’t belong the moment I stepped inside.

People flooded every room, overflowing to the driveway like it was leaking chaos. It took ten minutes just to find him, and when I did, he was moments away from getting blown by some topless woman.

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