Page 66 of Forever and Ever

This is it.

She’s it.

I pull back, and her mouth seeks mine for a second before she blinks her eyes open and looks up at me. Her lips are red and puffy and ripe. I want to sink my teeth into them and taste nothing else for the rest of my life, but I resist.

“No bullshit?” I say to her with her mouth a fraction away from mine.

Her kiss should be enough. I know she probably wants her kiss to be enough. But I need to hear it, either because I’m selfish or insecure. It doesn’t really matter. I need her to say it out loud because my heart can’t take another tear down the middle without risking it falling apart entirely.

Merry brushes her lips over mine and whispers, “I want you, Noah.”

Like a dirty little secret and everything I’ve needed from the day I met her.

“Then we’re leaving,” I tell her, taking her hand. And for once, her smart mouth doesn’t argue with me.

20

Merry

I’mnotthegirlwho falls head over heels.

I’m not the girl who gets her panties in a twist.

I’m not the girl who swoons over a rock star.

But as Noah plants his lips on mine, I do all three of those things.

We barely make it inside the front door to his house before he slams me against the wall and starts kissing me again. Long, deep kisses I get lost in. The taste of wintergreen on his tongue.

It feels good. But even scarier, it feelsright.

I’m no virgin, far from it. Sex is my escape. A way for me to not have to deal with deeper feelings. Because if I reduce relationships to purely physical interactions, then I don’t have to actually explore anything of substance.

Except, in Noah’s hands, it all falls away, and I’m left with the one thing I didn’t realize I was scared of since the day I met him—feeling safe, feeling unguarded, feeling like in his hands, I’m where I belong.

One kiss and all the pieces fit right into place.

It’s terrifying.

There are still things left unsaid between us. Promises I can’t make to him. Things Noah needs to know before we go too far down this road, and I end up hurting him. But the fear of saying it out loud and facing his reaction intensifies in this moment. Because I want him, I need him. And I’m not ready for him to reject me.

What if he hears my truths and can’t handle them? What if he only loves the girl he thinks I am—the one who can give him the life he’s envisioned of a wife, kids, a family? What if once he realizes I can’t offer him those things, he decides I’m no good for him?

I never wanted Noah to love me.

I never needed love to complete some unfulfilled portion of my life.

But all that changed with one kiss. One look in his eyes and I was his. One moment and I can't imagine losing him.

I press my palms against Noah’s chest and push him away just enough to break the kiss and catch my breath. My head is spinning, and our breaths are racing out our parted lips as we stand pinned against the wall.

Noah’s body is flush with mine and I feel him for the first time. All of him. His eyes dragging me under, his arms holding me up, his cock hard as steel pressed against my belly. And I don’t just want his body for what it can do for me in this moment. I want it all, everything he’ll give. His devotion, his heart, his love.

“Wait,” I say between breaths, and he does. Because Noah is the kind of man who is strong but gentle. Demanding but protective.

His pale blue eyes are dark with dilation and all I want is to strip us of everything in between. I want to explore the body I’ve tried to ignore too many times. I want to see the man I’ve held off.

I plant my palms on his firm chest and am met with the heat of him. It feels like he’s on fire.Ifeel like I’m on fire. And it’s never felt so good to let the flames eat me up.

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