Page 42 of Forever and Ever

“How Hallmark of you.” She smiles.

“You’d think,” I say, taking a deep breath. “That kind of perfection is exhausting, and it wasn’t real. Because even if they walked around touting acceptance, they didn’t live by it. My parents had certain expectations for all of us, and they weren’t too happy when I went against them.”

Merry sits there quietly now, watching me closely. I’m not sure how it is that she always sees between my lines, but she does.

“When I told my parents I was joining the band, they basically threatened to disown me. I kind of figured they were joking and would get over it. I mean, they were the ones who got me into music, and God wouldn’t want them to turn their backs on their own son, right?” I shake my head. “It all started to fall apart when we were recording the first album, and then, after what happened with Kali…”

Her name catches in my throat.

There’s a lot of shit I’m willing to tell Merry if she really wants to know, but for some reason, I can’t bring myself to go down this particular dark tunnel quite yet.

“My parents said the devil had his hooks in me.” I lean back and rub my palms together. “Easier to sleep at night when you give yourself the right excuses. Haven’t talked to them much since. But who cares. Now I’m a rock star, so fuck them.”

Merry nods, but it doesn’t feel the least bit comforting. Because in her eyes, I might as well be transparent.

“Fuck them,” I repeat, but it’s almost a whisper this time.

Standing up, I grab our plates and carry them over to the sink, and Merry lets the subject drop. It’s one of the things I appreciate about her. She knows when to push, and when to let it go.

She joins me, standing at my side, and helps me with the dishes. Washing, while I dry them. And we do it in silence, cleaning the kitchen and just existing in each other’s presence. It’s comforting, like being around her always is to me. We don’t have to fill the void with empty words. We can simply be, and it’s enough.

“Missed a spot.” I hand a plate back to her and point at an almost microscopic spec.

Merry rolls her eyes, but smiles. “Think you can do better? We can always switch sides.”

“I’d rather you be the one getting wet,” I grin at her, and her eyes drop to her hands in the water.

“You’re ridiculous, Noah Hayes,” she splashes me with a little bit of water.

I lean in real close, and she’s so focused on my eyes, she doesn’t notice my hands slipping into the sink.

“You love it,” I scoop a pile of bubbles out of the water and plant them on top of her head, making her shriek and jump back with a murderous look on her face.

“You’re going to pay for that,” she says, reaching in the water.

I take a step back and grin. “Bring it on, beautiful.”

Merry swipes a mountain of bubbles off the top of the water and hurls them at me with all her might. They land square on my chest and soak through my shirt. A smile widens on her face, and I can tell she’s proud of herself for the hit.

I toss the dish rag at her, and she barely dodges it, as she reaches into the sink to splash me some more.

Her laugh fills the room and it’s infectious—raw, free. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard from her. It’s unfiltered, no holding back. Completely unguarded and defenseless. The sound cracks me wide open.

She swats bubbles at me again, and I spin away this time before they hit me. But when I rear back ready to return fire, Merry is hunched over grabbing her stomach.

“Hey.” I reach for her shoulders and realize she’s shaking. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Her hands are clenched, wrapped around her sides. And even though she said she was having period cramps earlier, this seems more intense than that.

“No.” Her body heaves forward, and I pull her closer to steady her.

The laughter that filled the room moments ago is replaced by the kind of silence that can cut through everything. Her bones shaking, her knuckles white. I might be holding her, but she’s never felt so far away, and I’m not sure what to do.

“Sorry, I just need to lay down,” she says on a sigh.

Her posture relaxes the slightest, and I think some of the pain might be fading.

I push her curls out of her face and her complexion is paler than I’ve ever seen it.

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