Page 37 of Forever and Ever

For the hard exterior she shows the press, she’s anything but. Eloise is secretly the caretaker of the band, and even this small gesture of bringing me tea before my first recording session is a reminder of that.

“You’re up early.” It’s barely five in the morning, but like Adrian said, I have to work around the band’s schedule, so I’ll take what I can get.

Eloise shrugs. “Haven’t gone to bed yet. It’s hard to break the sleep schedule I pick up on tour. My brain doesn’t know what to do right now. And on that note, don’t be offended if I pass out on this couch listening to you. It’s nothing personal.”

“No offense taken.”

Adrian stands up and walks out of the room without saying anything, which Eloise notices as her eyes follow him.

I’ve worked with him long enough, and close enough, that I know not to be offended by his silent treatment. He’s not a bullshitter. He’ll talk when he has something important to say, but that’s it. He isn’t going to fill silence just to make people feel comfortable. Small talk is not his thing.

“How’s it going at Noah’s?” Eloise asks. But unlike when the girls were grilling me about it yesterday, it doesn’t feel like I need to immediately go on the defense.

“Good.” I sigh. “We’re making it work. But it’s only been a few days so ask me again in a week, and I’ll let you know if we’re plotting to kill each other in our sleep.”

“Understood.” She smiles.

“How is it going here?” I eye the closed door that heads upstairs.

Eloise bites her bottom lip, and I realize it’s the first time I’ve seen her look anywhere near this close to vulnerable.

“Fine, I guess. I appreciate him doing me the favor, so I don’t have to stay at Sebastian’s and listen to my brother having sex with his girlfriend every five minutes.” Eloise rolls her eyes. “And at least he doesn’t bring his girlfriend over, they go to her place if he’s planning to stay the night.”

“Adrian has a girlfriend?” The guy might not talk much, but the fact that I have no idea about this shocks me a little. I wonder if he’s even told Noah and the rest of the band.

“Yes.” Eloise sighs so deep her shoulders deflate with it. The look on her face is the closest confirmation I’ve seen that she has feelings for Adrian because she looks far from happy that he’s dating.

I nudge her arm and try to change the subject. “What about you, rock princess? I never see you with a man—or a woman, if that’s your thing?”

She shakes her head.

“All right then, what gives? You do realize you could literally have any guy on the planet, right?”

“Guys aren’t worth my energy right now,” she says, but there’s definitely a lot more behind it than that. “Besides I’ve got a best-selling album to write.”

“Damn right.” I nod my head in agreement and her wide smile returns. “Four albums, you guys are pros by now. Please tell me all your secrets.”

Eloise tips her chin up and taps her finger on it like she’s thinking, but the big smile crossing her cheeks is playful.

“Well…” She looks at me with a sweet smile. “Honestly, try not to think too much about it. Write from the heart. Sing from the heart. Don’t try to be someone you aren’t. Not that that’s ever been a problem for you.”

She nudges my shoulder and I laugh, but deep inside I feel the cracks widen. If only she knew how little of myself I actually let out. What people see as an authentic tough exterior is simply armor for me. It protected me from getting my feelings hurt as a kid when I was made fun of for being different, and I’ve used it to guard myself ever since.

But all I say is, “You know it.”

Not even Eloise is prepared for my truths.

The door to the studio opens and Adrian walks back in with his phone in his hand, like he just got off a call. Tucked under his arm is a blanket that he walks over and hands to Eloise.

“In case you get tired,” he says, turning before she can respond.

It’s an awfully thoughtful move for a guy with a girlfriend. Not that I say anything about it.

“You ready, Merry?” Adrian adjusts the sound panel once more.

“As I’ll ever be.”

It’s eerily silent walking into the recording booth. The door closes behind me and every sound is stamped out. It’s just me and my heavy breathing as I try and calm my nerves until Adrian’s voice comes through a speaker.

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