Page 23 of Forever and Ever

Thank God this tour is over. Four months without her. Four months to screw my head back on straight. Four months of silence.

I’d hate her if I didn’t love her so damn much.

7

Merry

Noahwalksintothepost-tour party alone, but I can tell he’s already been laid by his demeanor. The vibrating energy he carried after the show is gone, and now, he’s just chill.

He sits beside me on the couch, smelling like that blonde chick’s awful perfume. I hate smelling other women on his skin, even if I don’t say anything to stop it. I hate knowing he’s relaxed after they’ve worked the tension out of him.

Worst of all, Ihatethat I hate it.

It would be easier if I genuinely didn’t care who or what Noah did. But I care about him—as a friend—or something resembling it. And I don’t like watching him bury himself in other women to get out of his own feelings.

He rests an arm behind me on the couch, but I stand up and walk away. This is the point where I’d usually grab onto the nearest willing person and let them fuck me in the bathroom just to prove to Noah and myself that his actions don’t faze me. But tonight, I can’t bring myself to do it.

As a matter of fact, it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve even let someone touch me. Ever since I started feeling off. Physically, mentally. I can’t place what’s wrong, but I don’t feel like myself.

Avoiding a group of roadies trying to capture my attention, I head over to Cassie, who’s standing next to Sebastian and Adrian. The pink tips on her blonde hair look freshly touched up, and they brush her shoulders as she laughs at something Sebastian says.

The smile hasn’t left her face since she watched him perform that song for her on stage, and I give myself a pat on the back for introducing them. Or, at least getting them in the same room together, even if I only ever expected them to fuck, not fall in love.

My matchmaking skills are a little too on point.

“Merry, good, I was going to find you,” Adrian says when I come to a stop.

He scratches the shaved stubble on his head and nods at Eloise as she walks up to us. She has an unreadable expression on her face.

Eloise is the picture of elegance. She’s tall and stoic in a way that makes her sharp facial features seem statuesque. She knows how to hold her own in a band surrounded by men, and because of it, most people find her intimidating. But I’ve seen glimpses of her other side. Even if she comes across as cold and emotionless at times, there’s a softness to her underneath. She just has to trust you enough before she shows it.

“What’s up?” I say to Adrian.

“We mapped out studio time for the next album, and between writing and recording, it’s going to take about four months.”

“Okay.” I nod, not sure why he’s telling me this. I’m well aware of the timeline, and I’m not sure if he’s trying to rub it in that I’ll be out of work for that long between tours or if he needs me to help out with something in the process.

“Anyway,” Adrian says. “Only half of the next Enemy Muse album is currently written, which frees up the studio more than anticipated while they finish writing it.”

I nod again, still not sure what he’s getting at.

“I’m saying it’s yours if you want it.” He crosses his arms and stands taller, lifting an eyebrow at me.

“Mine?”

My gaze moves from Adrian to Cassie. She's bouncing with excitement as she stands next to Sebastian.

“Mine,” I say again, letting that sink in.

“Let’s record that demo.” A smile breaks across Adrian’s face. “If you’re up for it, that is.”

“You’re fucking serious?” My heart starts to race.

Adrian nods, and even Eloise is smiling at me now.

I’ve been waiting for this. The past nine months—my whole fucking life.

I’ve been working my ass off for the band. I’ve done the grunt work, and slowly worked my way up to prove myself. I knew nothing was going to be handed to me, but I was starting to think it was never going to happen.

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