Page 91 of Forever and Ever

Her gaze drops down, noticing.

“Sorry,” I say, trying to think of anything that might take my mind off the water running over her naked body in front of me. “My body has a mind of its own.”

“You never got to go.” She purses her lips.

“I’m fine. Promise.”

The last thing I was worried about was coming after all that happened.

Merry starts sliding her hands down further, but I catch her wrists to stop her.

“Really,” I say. “I’ll survive.”

“Is it because of…” she trails off. “You aren’t going to be grossed out, or like—”

I grab her face and kiss her, cutting off her words because it’s stupid shit that I don’t want to hear.

“No,” I say, pulling away, but keeping my hands on her face. “You’re the sexiest woman in the whole fucking world, Merry. I honestly feel bad for anyone who has to stand next to you because it’s downright cruel to them. Nothing, and I meannothing, can change my mind on that.”

“Thank you.” Her cheeks light up as confidence returns to her face. She lifts onto her toes to give me a kiss.

“You don’t have to thank me.” I pull her closer, so her wet body is up against mine. And now I really can’t prevent myself from getting hard because it’s a natural reaction to this woman. “Thank whatever larger power you believe in because they made you this way.”

My words might be corny, but they make her smile.

“Whatever you say,” she says. “But I meant thank you for taking care of me. You’re too good for me Noah Hayes.”

Her hand slips down again and she wraps it around my cock before I can stop her.

She rests her forehead against my chest, and I feel her breath on my skin.

“Just let me thank you,” she whispers.

Her hand slides up and down my shaft, and I have to plant a hand on the wall of the shower behind her to hold myself up. I should pull away. I should stop this. It feels wrong and right and bad and good.

But that’s everything with Merry and me. Hard fought but worth the wait. And I know that in some fucked up way, her hand on my dick is her answer to the things she can’t fix right now. Because sex is how Merry connects. And when there’s nothing left to be said, she’d rather let her body do the talking.

I stand with her under the running water of the shower as she jerks me off. And it’s not wild or sexy or desperate. But in its own way it’s perfect.

I wish I could make her understand what it’s like to be helpless because that’s how I feel right now—and every minute around her.

I wish I could show her what she does to me in a way that’s more than me coming on her stomach as the water washes between us.

I wish we could put off reality and pause in this moment. But I’ve tried that before, and it never works, so I just hug her harder.

28

Merry

Noahhasn’tsaidanythingsince we left the house, and he’s not making it a secret how he feels right now.

I talked to my doctor this morning and we agreed to keep the original appointment for next week since I’m not experiencing any pain.

“It’s just a period,” I say for what feels like the hundredth time. “It’s that time of the month anyway, I’m fine.”

Noah nods his head, but his eyes are narrow and his jaw is clenched.

“You don’t get to be mad at me about this.”

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