Page 83 of Forever and Ever

Besides, I have things to finish with my demo and depending on how things go with the doctor, I don’t know how long I’ll be down for. I can’t risk it. This is my career. My dream. My body is just going to need to cooperate for the time being.

So yeah, things with Noah haven’t been casual like I keep saying. We’re working through a lot of shit really early on. But I’m not ready to share all that with Cassie and Quinn. Especially in the middle of a nightclub.

“Okay, I get it,” Cassie says, finally sitting back and taking another drink. “I’m done pushing. You seem happy, and it looks good on you.”

The corner of my mouth twitches, and I hope I’m not totally giving myself away by blushing.

“I am. We just… work. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Quinn nudges my arm. “Good. You deserve it.”

I smile, but something pangs in my chest, because I don’t feel like I deserve it. Especially after I pushed Noah away for so long. He’s been so caring and understanding. And I know it’s in his nature because Noah is one of those rare people who really does wear his heart on his sleeve and puts himself out there. But it’s difficult to accept.

He deserves more than you can give him.

That thought rattles around too loud for my liking.

“What about you?” I say to Quinn, turning the firing squad around on her. “What’s up with that guy that tattooed your name on him?”

She rakes her teeth over her bottom lip and tries to bury a grin.

“Oh no, what’s that face?” I shove her shoulder lightly. “You’re over here grilling me and you’re dick-whipped yourself?”

“Is dick-whipped a thing now?” Cassie asks.

“If they get pussy-whipped, then sure.” I shrug and turn back to Quinn with a narrowed gaze. “I thought this guy was like a total stalker, what gives?”

“Not a stalker.” Quinn holds up her hand. “Just, very… passionate.”

“I know those ones.” I take a drink as my gaze drifts to where Noah is standing at the edge of a large group of people.

The women among them look a little like sharks circling blood in the water. But when Noah looks over and our eyes lock, I feel something warm in my chest. He could be in the center of the room, surrounded by the most beautiful women in the world, and that look tells me all I need to know.

He’s not that guy.

He’d never do that to me.

This is not casual.

I break his stare, trying to reconcile the war happening between my heart and my head.

“I know, you totally get it.” Quinn smiles. “But he’s a good guy, and I’m not sure what to do with that. I usually fall for assholes who cheat on me and treat me like shit.”

“I’m not sure how this is a bad thing.” Cassie shakes her head, and I have to agree with her. “Although I guess I did the exact opposite. I always dated the good guys, then I met Sebastian.”

“He’s good to you.” Which is saying a lot since he was a player and a train wreck before they met.

“He’s very good to me,” Cassie says with a big smile. Her eyes find him and I’m pretty sure they’re fucking each other in their heads when their gazes meet. “But that’s my point. Sometimes the guy you never go for is exactly who you should be with.”

“Maybe,” Quinn says, seeming like her mind is somewhere else. “It’s fun for now. But we go back on tour in less than three months, and we all know how that is. Even if they are getting more tour buses, it’s going to be a cramped mess. And I can’t date someone when I’m in a different state every other day.”

I scrunch my nose, not really sure how to comfort her. Relationships on tour are hard enough when both people are there. But when one isn’t, there’s a whole other set of issues. I’ve heard it time and again from the roadies who have tried it.

The constant question of fidelity. The conflicting schedules. The fact that the band consumes your life, and you don’t have room for anyone else.

It makes me wonder what this next tour will be like for me and Noah. If we’re still together, and each of the band members is getting their own bus, would I be with him on his? Is that where he wants me?

Is that whereIwant to be?

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