Page 67 of Forever and Ever

“What’s wrong?” Noah’s head ticks to the side in confusion.

I’m falling apart.

I’m falling in love.

I’ll break us both.

But I can’t tell him any of those things because I’m cruel and selfish. And right now, I need him.

“Nothing.” I pull his face to mine again as I start to feel frantic.

Noah peels us off the wall and grips my ass to lift me up as I wrap my legs around his hips. My body begs for so much more and I can’t help but grind against him for some friction. I’ve never wanted someone as much as I do this second.

Still, I almost argue as he carries me to his bedroom because I know it’s a dangerous thing for me to fall into his bed. His sheets hold an unspoken permanence, and once inside I’m not sure I’ll ever really claw my way back out again.

But I let him take me there because as much as the resistant part of me wants to fight this, I’m tired of the battle. If I’m going to sink into this moment, I’m going to do it fully. I’m going to be consumed by him.

Noah pauses when we reach the bed and he sets me down slowly, my feet finding the ground. He breaks our kiss but keeps our foreheads connected so that we’re in the bubble of his blond hair curtaining around us.

“Change your mind?” I ask him with a breathy laugh that I hope doesn’t show my fear, because I hope he hasn’t.

“No,” he says, staring me in the eyes. “But I told you when you first showed up here, that if you ever ended up in my bed, you’d climb in willingly, and I’d wait forever for that day if I had to.”

He’s reminding me of what he’s offering me right now. Because climbing on that mattress means I’m accepting more than sex. He’s handing me his heart, and by crossing this line, I’m agreeing to take it.

“I want to fuck you, Merry.” His hands run down my back, and it sends a shiver down the full length of my spine. “But that’s not what this is. You aren’t the halfway point, and if we do this, we aren’t waking up tomorrow and going back to whatever this was. It’s all in or not at all with you. Take it or leave it.”

There are inches between our lips, and even though I feel his lust heavy and hard pressed against my stomach, the pain in Noah’s eyes is what’s drawing my attention. It reminds me of the first night I arrived, and we stood in his kitchen. I told him he couldn’t just fuck me and pretend it didn’t matter, and I was right. But now, he’s asking me to admit the same.

I bring my hand up to his jaw and hold it, appreciating that he tips his head slightly to offer me his weight, the same way he’s offering me his heart. A beating bloody mess he presses against the blades of consequence, waiting for me to either make it whole or decimate it.

He gives fully, and it makes me want to do the same.

I take a step back, and disappointment colors his face as he feels me pull away. But, although I’m sure he probably thinks I’m backing out and leaving, I don’t. Instead, I reach for the hem of my shirt and strip it off me slowly, tossing it to the floor beside him and watching his throat bob as his eyes drop to my red lace bra hiding under my layers of black. Reaching for the button on my jeans, I pop it open and drag the zipper down slowly, peeling them off one leg at a time.

Noah watches me without moving, and I’ve never wanted to be seen more. Because he might pause on my matching lace bra and panty set, but he’s seeing everything, inside and out.

Once I’m down to my bra and underwear I take one more step back, then another, slowly climbing onto his bed.

“I want all of this.” Those are the most terrifying words I’ve ever said because there is nothing to protect me from them. I feel them down to my core, and I pray that in handing him my broken parts he won’t hurt me.

In this moment I want to tell him everything, I want to bare my soul like he did to me in that hallway. I almost do. But when I open my mouth again, I realize I’m already far too vulnerable on his bed in front of him, and I hold onto what little I have left.

Noah stares at me kneeling on his bed, with a tight jaw and a darkened gaze. It goes beyond desire. He stands taller and embodies something larger as he steps closer. Need running deep.

He looks like he wants to absolutely devour me, and I’ve never felt sexier.

The corner of Noah’s mouth ticks up in a deliciously wicked grin as he reaches for his shirt and strips it up and over his head in one sweep.

I can’t help but drop my gaze to his bare chest. Those hard ridges of muscle cascading down his stomach send my mind to the dirtiest places. I’ve seen him naked before, but this is different. Here, he’s handing his body over to me, and God, I want it.

Noah walks toward the bed and wraps a hand up into my hair, pulling my head back to hover his face over mine. His grip is tight, and it tugs the strands on my scalp, but the burn lights me up inside.

“Fuck me,” I tell him, pulling against his grip enough to nip at his bottom lip.

I’m absolutely desperate.

He pulls my hair a little harder and smiles down at me. His usually carefree and laid-back demeanor giving way to a dominant side that’s been hiding beneath the surface. The power in his stare draining me of my composure and making me want to get down and beg for him.

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