Page 58 of Forever and Ever

I lean forward slightly. “Why? Because you’re used to seeing me with people who use their looks to hide who they really are, and she’s not afraid to show the truth?”

Kali straightens up, clearly offended, running her fingers over the buttons on her blouse.

Who wears a blouse in the middle of the week anyway?

A white one at that. It’s all so pure and innocent—and fake.

“Ben and I are taking some time apart,” she says.

“Wonderful.” The name of my former best friend on her tongue doesn’t sit well with me.

Isn’t this the kind of shit you update your real friends with? I don’t even follow her on social media, so I’m not sure why she thinks I care.

“Mia isn’t taking it well,” she says, and it hits my one soft spot. Although I might hate Kali for being a lying bitch, and Ben for being a shit friend, it’s not their daughter’s fault she was the result of it.

I’ve only met Mia once, when she was one month old. Back when I was still in denial and trying to keep together whatever it was that was already fractured in front of us. And she was a sweet baby from what I could tell. But she was also proof that Kali didn’t give a shit about me. At least, not enough to be faithful.

I like to consider myself a guy who will put up with a lot of shit. From women. From the band. I’m pretty easy going in most settings. But infidelity is black and white, no fucking way in my book. End of story.

When I’m in a relationship, I’m yours and you’re mine. I’m committed, one hundred percent. Even if my friends call me a pussy because of it. I don’t fuck around on people I care about.

And because of this, the guys in the band have given me a lot of shit over how I’m still chasing Merry. But that’s only because they don’t get it. Wanting a woman and having one are two different things. She’s single and she can do as she pleases, same as me. But if she’s ever mine—that’s it.

“I’m sorry about Mia.” I mean it for Mia’s sake. After all, Mia has Kali and Ben as parents, so I really do sympathize.

She nods and a sincere look crosses her face, which makes me realize I’ve been a dick since she showed up on my doorstep. As much as she brings out the worst in me, it’s not who I am, and for the first time since she stepped inside, I feel bad about that.

It’s been four years. I shouldn’t be giving her the power to get under my skin.

“Thank you.” Kali sits up a little taller.

She’s pressing her lips between her teeth and it’s an odd thing to see because I know it means she’s nervous.

You can forget a lot about a person over the years—the exact shade of their eyes, how their body feels against yours. But certain things stick with you whether you like it or not. Like Kali’s ticks and twitches when she’s uncomfortable, or the octave of her laugh when she’s nervous or happy or excited.

Things you wish you could bury, but no matter how far down you put them, they’re just waiting for the right moment to come out.

“How did you find me?” I ask her.

“Your mom.”

I chuckle, but only because she acts like it’s no big deal, when in fact, my parents have never bothered to visit.

“Okay, well can I help you with something? I’m still not sure why you showed up.”

Kali’s sitting quietly, twisting her fingers in her lap. Clearly some things never change, because I’ve always had to be the one to drag things out of her.

“I miss you, Noah,” she says, looking up at me with tears brimming in her eyes. And even if she doesn’t mean the same thing to me anymore, it still gets me to see her in pain, which pisses me off a little.

The woman can take a woodchipper to my heart, and still, it kills me when she cries.

I lean back in my chair and pull my hair back. “I’m not sure what you want me to say to that, Kal.”

“I was an idiot.” She stands now, walking toward me. She sits in the chair right next to mine and gets so close her knees brush mine.

It’s a lot for my body to process. This is the girl who was supposed to be my wife, the girl I was supposed to give my virginity to. And this close, she still manages to send those teenage shockwaves through my system.

“I was pregnant and scared.” Kali reaches out and places a hand on my knee. “Being with Ben was a huge mistake, but the damage was done, and I was having his baby, so I thought it was the right thing to do.”

---