Page 43 of Forever and Ever

“Can you walk?”

She nods, even if her face tells me she isn’t so sure. But I don’t push it, because I know how much she hates accepting anyone’s help, especially mine. She’s so damn stubborn that she could probably be bleeding out and would still insist on doing things herself, which leaves me frustrated and helpless.

She slowly makes it all the way across the house, not letting go of her stomach. I stay by her side the entire way, even if I don’t reach out. When we get to her room, her shoulders are still slightly hunched, so I prop up a few pillows on her bed to try and help her.

“Can I get you something?” I ask as she climbs up carefully.

“Tylenol?”

I nod and leave her to grab it. When I return with the pills and water, she’s still sitting but has managed to get herself fully onto the bed.

Merry downs the Tylenol and drains the water from the glass before handing it back to me. “I just… I’m not feeling great. It’s no big deal.”

“Period cramps,” I say, not believing it.

Merry is a professional gatekeeper with her secrets, and even if it’s something worse, she’s not going to tell me. I’ve seen the pill bottles in the bathroom. There’s clearly something more going on. But whenever I’ve asked her about it, she shuts down the conversation almost immediately and now is not the time to push her.

“Thank you for the Tylenol.” She gives me a faint smile.

“Anything for you, beautiful.”

Merry tries to adjust the pillow but winces, so I set down the water glass and help her get comfortable.

“Thanks.” She settles, closing her eyes.

I brush the back of my knuckles along her arm. She’s so soft, and warm, and smells like the sweetest berries. “Let me know if I can get you anything, okay?”

She nods, but her eyes remain closed, so I turn to leave, hoping sleep will fix whatever is wrong. But her fingers tangle through mine and stop me before I can take a step.

“Noah?”

There’s a lot I want to read in the expression on her face when I turn back around. Her guard is down. Her eyes show defeat. I’m seeing past the persona she’s constantly wearing and it’s just Mercedes Lopez staring back at me.

There’s a lot I want to think about the fact that she’s showing this side to me, that she’s holding my hand how she is, that her voice sounds desperate.

But I shouldn’t.

“Stay with me for a bit?” Merry presses her lips together and I feel the anxiety building inside her with that question.

On any other day, I might make a joke about climbing into her bed. But tonight, I just nod and lay down beside her, trying not to think too much about it. I tell myself it’s because she isn’t feeling well, and this doesn’t mean anything.

But as she rolls onto her side and rests her head in the nook of my arm, I can’t help it. Because as her fingers trace the tattoo rings on my forearm, I feel myself soaking her in all the way through to my bones.

I’d hold her forever if she asked me to, no matter the damage.

13

Noah

Ittakesmeaminute to figure out where I am when my eyes open. My room is usually dark from the blackout curtains, but the sun blinds me as I blink the bed into focus. And that’s when I remember last night.

Holding Merry in my arms all night as she winced in pain. Pretending not to notice that something worse is going on than she’s willing to tell me.

I roll over and see she’s no longer laying down. She’s sitting on the edge of the bed and tying her wild hair into a bun on the top of her head.

“Hey.” I reach out and brush her arm with my hand.

She looks over her shoulder just barely. “Hey.”

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