Page 104 of Forever and Ever

“I’m going back to Seattle for a bit. At least to see my doctor, but also, probably to have surgery. I need to deal with these fibroids and hopefully it doesn’t make things worse.”

This is what I’ve been wanting her to do, so I’m not sure why she thinks I’ll argue.

“And you’re staying in Denver,” she finishes.

I open my mouth to speak but she lifts her hand up to stop me.

“Noah, I appreciate that you want to be there for me. And Iwantyou there for me. But we can’t ignore every obligation we have for this relationship. My family is there, I’ve got a support system. But you’re needed here with the band. And I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“But—”

“Don’t you dare argue with me, Noah Hayes,” she says, knowing I love it when she calls me by my full name. “I heard you out, and I’m willing to make this work. But I’m not one of those girls who needs you to give up everything to feel validated. So, we need to meet halfway. I’ll be back once I’m done with whatever treatment the doctor orders. But don’t set your priorities aside just because of me.”

She narrows her eyes, and her lashes are so thick her eyes are nearly black. It’s surprisingly adorable she’s so adamant about this, especially considering she’s not actually pushing me away for once.

“Fine,” I say, and it gets me a suspicious look in return.

“What do you meanfine?”

“I mean, fine.” I shrug. “I thought you were saying your piece, so I wasn’t supposed to argue with you?”

“That’s not—” She shakes her head and wipes her hands over her face. “I wasn’t expecting you to do that.”

“Well, I am. Is that a problem?”

She’s looking at me hard, like she no way believes me but can’t figure out why yet.

“So, you’re okay with me going to Seattle by myself?” she clarifies.

“Okay with it, no? Willing to accept defeat and let you go up there by yourself, sure.”

“And you’ll stay in Denver?”

“I’ll stay with the band.”

I can tell Merry doesn’t know what to do with that, and as much as I don’t like the idea of her traveling up there alone, if this is what she needs to feel reassured by us, then I know I need to let her go up there by herself.

But I’m also not going to cave in as easily as she thinks I am. So, she can throw out her gauntlet, but I’m an artist. I’m willing to get creative with how I let this play out.

If she’s so worried about me not meeting my obligations with Enemy Muse, I’ll find a way to make this happen. After all, she doesn’t want me to choose between the two, and that just makes me love her more.

All my life I’ve been made to think that love is this conditional thing, that either you meet the expectations exactly as set or you’re a failure. But with Merry, she wants me to achieve everything I want. She wants me to be everything I am. And all it makes me want to do is give her everything she deserves in return.

“You’ll record the album?” Her nose crinkles.

I laugh because she’s still clarifying like she really doesn’t believe any of this. Not that I blame her. “Promise. I’ll record the album with the band. I won’t let your surgery interfere with recording.”

“Why do I feel like there are invisible strings I’m not seeing?” She narrows her eyes and I just grin.

Leaning forward, I brush my lips over hers and smile. “Guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

But as she opens her mouth to argue, I kiss her, and it feels like a little of our pain melts away. Her arms wrap around my neck, and I thank her with my lips for being exactly who she is. Because although to her, this kiss might be some kind of temporary goodbye, at no point did Merry seem to hear exactly what I was promising.

I said forever, and I meant it.

32

Merry

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