Page 103 of Forever and Ever

“No.”

Merry shakes her head and looks at me like she can’t believe I dared to argue with her. But fuck this.

“We’re not doing that,” I say.

“And you get to make all the decisions?”

“When I’m the only one thinking rationally, yes.”

She stares at me with narrowed eyes. Part of me really wants to know what she’s thinking, and the other part really doesn’t. But I won’t back down, or take my hand off her leg, or walk away. We’re facing this shit, whether she wants to or not.

It’s why I know we’ll work. One person in every relationship has to be the one to stay and fight for it, and I’ll be that for her every time if I have to.

After a long pause, her face softens. “I shouldn’t have been able to get pregnant, okay?”

“I know.” I’ve got vertigo from her flipping this conversation around every five seconds.

She takes in a deep breath. “Just because it happened, doesn’t change anything. I shouldn’t have. And even though I did, it doesn’t mean it will happen again.”

“I understand that.”

Her arms finally unclench around her chest, and she reaches out for my hand. “I wouldn’t have asked you to—you know, not wear anything—if I thought for even a minute it was a possibility this would happen. I’m on hormone treatments on top of everything else. It really shouldn’t have even been possible.”

“I know.”

Merry’s eyes get watery. “I didn’t mean to do this.”

That’s when it hits me that she feels guilty. On top of everything, Merry thinks she’s bringing something on me that she isn’t. This isn’t her fault.

“We both made that decision, Merry. This isn’t on you, at all.” I take her hands in mine and hold them in my lap. “Is it hard to process what’s all happened? Yes. But would I take it back or change things? No. Because what if it had worked out by some miracle?”

“That’s dangerous thinking,” Merry warns.

I shrug. “No more dangerous than pining after a girl who swears she’ll never give you a chance.”

Merry tips her chin down and tries to glare at me, but it’s softened by the faintest smile.

“I’m not saying we’re ready for our relationship to go there. This is new, and we’re still figuring it out. I’m enjoying this part. Fucking all over the house and not giving a shit about who is around to hear it.”

That finally makes a full smile break on her face.

“But if anything happened with you, unexpected or not, I’d never take it back. Because it would be with you, Merry. So, if you want to start using protection. Or if you want to put a pause on having sex—”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” She rolls her eyes.

“That’s a relief.” I pull her hands to my mouth and kiss the backs of her knuckles. “But what I’m saying is no matter what, I’ll understand. You’re not backing out of this. If we do it, we do it together. No matter how many times you get stubborn and make me remind you.”

Even with her defenses down right now she still feels a little prickly, but I wouldn’t want her any other way.

She draws her bottom lip between her teeth, and I realize there’s something still bothering her.

“What are you thinking?”

“I heard you out,” she says with a long sigh. “But this doesn’t just go one way, so now, I need you to hear me.”

There’s a look Merry has nailed, and it’s the one she’s giving me right now. A little terrifying, a little abrasive, and a lot sexy.

“All right.” I nod.

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