Page 84 of Heart Break Her

I stop and tip her chin up at me. “Why? You only get one life; you can’t spend it living for other people.”

“Now you sound like Myth.” Cassie frowns. “And while I appreciate the sentiment, that’s just not an option. After everything with him—and I’m not talking about his death because it goes all the way back to when we were kids—I can’t. Myth caused my parents enough headaches. One of us had to keep it together, and that one was me. It was the least I could do.”

“And what about what you want?”

“I’m good.” Cassie shrugs. “I graduated college. I’m starting my dream career. Even if it is on pause for a minute, I know I’ll get there. I got what I wanted.”

I wrap my hands through her hair and hold onto the back of her head. “Then why don’t you sound excited about it?”

Her nose scrunches as she thinks my question over. Her eyes are ocean deep, and I could easily get lost in them as they stare into mine. My fingers rub the back of her skull, and her body relaxes with a long sigh.

“I did everything right, and I still lost him.” She blinks, and her eyes get glassy. “No matter what I do, I can’t change that.”

Myth made it clear that Cassie was the rock of the family. Between his free spirit and her parents’ fierce expectations, she was the glue holding it all together. And up until now, I felt bad for her, but it didn’t really mean anything to me. Because she was a story he told, not an actual person.

But now, whatever weight she’s carrying around inside her buries me in this moment. Because holding her in my hands, I sense the overwhelming burden of it.

A heaviness made worse because of me. Her whole life shifted from losing the one person she was closest to. And instead of coming clean that it’s my fault, I can’t seem to stop taking.

“I thought that by following through on all my promises to him, I’d feel some kind of closure.” Cassie blinks, and a rogue tear trails down her cheek and pools where my thumb hooks around her jaw. “Or at least, relief. I thought graduating college, getting the job, making something of myself, would make him proud even if he’s not here to see it. But I did it, and I still feel empty.”

She might as well be pulling the words from my soul because that’s my life. Surrounded by people, every dream granted and then some. But I’m a shell. One moment, one mistake, haunting me.

I step in closer, and it brings us chest to chest. She has to tip her head back to face me, and her breathing quickens.

Cassie might hide her feelings well because she’s used to holding herself together for the people around her, but this crack, this glimpse, is a painful reminder of what my decisions have really resulted in.

“I can’t give you what you need,” I say, dipping my face to hover an inch from hers. “But I wish I could.”

Pressing our lips together, I feel us collapse in on ourselves. The kiss stopping the tears from falling. Maybe even stopping time. We stay there, pressed together from our chests to our lips.

Soaking, breathing, but not moving.

We stand together in the center of this hurricane. And when we finally pull away, and sounds return to the world, what I see in her eyes terrifies me because it fills me up.

“Enough talking about my family,” Cassie says, stepping back and wiping her tears away. She forces a smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “We’re supposed to be having fun, right?”

“We can do whatever you want,” I say, but she laces her hand back through mine and pulls me forward.

“In that case, what I want is the day you had planned for me.”

“I feel like you should lower your expectations a little. I just said we were going on an outing.” I smile at her.

Cassie shakes her head. “You’re Sebastian Kane.” She covers her mouth and looks around. “Sorry, should not be saying that out loud. I’d prefer to keep you in one piece.”

“Appreciated.” I grin.

“Anyway, I will not lower my expectations. You were too excited when you announced this, so I know it will be great.” She swings our hands, and I feel like we could be stepping out of some ridiculous movie.

“You read all this from some expression on my face?”

She shrugs. “You’re easy to read.”

Except, I’m not.

No one ever knows what I’m thinking, and it’s irritating when they try. They do a lot of assuming, or not giving a shit in general. But people actually understanding what’s going on in my fucked-up head? Nope.

God, this girl is under my skin, in my head, everywhere.

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