Page 80 of Heart Break Her

It doesn’t matter how many weeks I’ve been on tour with Enemy Muse, I can’t help but still feel slightly intimidated by the rest of the band. Especially Rome and Adrian. While Eloise has been warm toward me this past week, and Noah has started acting brotherly since we had that night under the stars on top of the tour bus, Rome and Adrian are like mile-high steel walls there’s no scaling.

If it hadn’t been for Megan shooting me another side-eyed glare while I mulled over whether I was going to join Sebastian on his bus or not, I might have just stayed put on my own to avoid the looks I knew Rome and Adrian were going to give me. But as cold as they are, at least they aren’t as vocal about their distaste for me as Megan. Plus, there’s the added benefit of more time with Sebastian, given we’re in for a twelve-hour drive.

“Why would they mind?” Sebastian scoots closer to me on the couch and runs his thumb over my cheek. His eyes pinch like he can’t fathom what I’m talking about.

“I figured you guys had meetings on the road. Or wrote music. Or just handled band stuff. It kind of feels like I’m invading your space.”

Sebastian pulls my legs into his lap and quirks an eyebrow. “Rome has a groupie sitting on his lap up front, waiting for him to drag her to his bunk so she can suck his dick, and you feel like you’re invading?”

Well, when he puts it that way…

I’m a little surprised groupies ride on the bus with the band. I figured that they left them in whatever city they found them in. But I guess that’s another thing I got wrong. Of course, rock stars would pass the time on the road with sex. Even if I’m not sure I can picture the appeal of it when they’re all cramped in a shared space.

“What are you thinking?” Sebastian runs a finger over the bridge of my nose, and I realize I was scrunching it. “Honestly.”

Sometimes I swear he’s reading my mind, knowing exactly what to say to draw the information out of me that he wants. I’ve never been overly comfortable opening up in relationships, but one look from Sebastian pulls every thought straight from my head.

“Do you bring groupies on the bus?” I ask him, and his face freezes. Clearly that’s not the question he was expecting.

“I have.” Sebastian shrugs casually, but he looks uncomfortable.

This is why I know better than to ask Sebastian questions I don’t want the answer to. Because he could lie to me, but he doesn’t. And even if the thought makes my gut churn a little, I can’t fault him for his past, or for being honest about it.

“Okay,” I say with a sigh. “But we’re not doing that.”

As much as being around Sebastian makes me want to strip him naked, I don’t need the band hearing it.

Sebastian tips his head back and laughs. “I figured. That’s not why I asked you to ride to Denver with me.”

“Then why did you?”

“Bored, interested, curious.” He shrugs. “Wanted to spend more time with you.”

“And you’ll let me know when…” I find myself tripping over the words. “When that changes?”

His eyebrows pinch, and I swear I see his jaw clench as he processes what I’m asking. “You’re serious?”

“I won’t be on this tour forever, Sebastian, we both know that. And don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying what’s happening between us at the moment. But I’m not some starry-eyed girl getting any ideas. You’re a rock star, and I’ll be going home eventually. I don’t need you trying to spare my feelings. I understand what this is.” God, these words are difficult to get out. “If you feel yourself moving on, or interested in someone else, that’s fine. Just tell me.”

Sebastian stares at me for a minute that feels like it could be an hour, working his jaw back and forth with teeth clenched. When his face finally relaxes, he reaches for my hand and pulls it into his lap.

“That’s all sorts of fucked up,” Sebastian says with a flat expression that’s almost impossible to read.

I open my mouth to argue that it’s not fucked up at all because I walked into this knowing full well who he is. And even if I don’t particularly want that to be the case, I get it. My eyes are wide open. But he doesn’t give me the chance.

“You’re not just some random lay to me, Cassie.” He narrows his eyes. “I don’t want you to be. And if you honestly think I’m just fucking you between fucking them then I haven’t been clear enough with you. Are you fucking other people?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t—”

“But I would?”

My shoulders sink. “I’m not saying it to hurt your feelings.”

“I know you’re not,” Sebastian says, and I honestly believe him. “But is that what you think? That I would?”

“I mean.” I wave my free hand at him. “I guess I just figured.”

“Well, don’t,” he says, tugging my hand slightly like he’s trying to jerk me into some reality that I can’t fathom in my head. “Because I’m going to be one hundred percent honest with you about this—I’m not fucking anyone else, and I don’t have any interest in it either. I haven’t since I met you.”

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