Page 47 of Heart Break Her

“Is it just me, or does Tampa already feel like a lifetime ago?” Cassie asks, pushing a rogue strand of hair off her face. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in like, a year. And it’s only been a few days.”

“We’ve texted,” I shrug.

“Ah yes, my text bestie.” She smiles and dips her chin.

Everything she does tilts me off balance, and God, I want to fall all over the place for this girl.

“It’s not just you,” I tell her. “That’s life on the road. Just give it a couple weeks. You’ll forget where you are, what year it is, how long you’ve been gone. It’s—"

“Madness,” she finishes. “I don’t know how you guys do it.”

Her words strike me in the stomach because, for her, all this is temporary. This isn’t her life; it’s mine. On the road, up until five in the morning most days, sleeping in a cramped bunk on a bus. Losing yourself.

Cassie might be along for the ride while she waits out this scandal, but it’s not permanent. While I’m lost in Wonderland, she has the real world waiting for her back in Seattle and her whole life ahead of her.

I lean against the wall and kick a foot against it, taking a drink from my water bottle. As if anything can ground me when she’s got me in this constant state of suspension. Maybe I should be drunk right now, then I wouldn’t be so in my head.

“My brother loved the road.” Cassie leans against the wall beside me, the smallest fraction of space between our bodies.

People walk past, but even though we aren’t alone, all I feel are Cassie’s eyes fixated on me. I look down at her. Her chin is tipped up to look me in the face, and the angle reminds me of the morning in her bathroom when I came to get her. Gazing up at me with eyes that pack so much punch, it knocks the air out of my chest.

“He used to text me from the tour telling me it was where he belonged,” Cassie sighs.

“Myth was crazier than I was.”

“I believe it.” She exhales a chuckle. “Even when we were kids, he couldn’t be contained. Always getting into trouble, breaking bones, or sneaking my parents’ alcohol. He had the spirit of a little boy who never wanted to grow up. The most curious person I’ve ever known. And damn, people were drawn to it.”

“Me included.” I smile.

“Myth loved you guys.” Cassie dips her chin, and there’s a slight sadness drawn out in her tone. “I know he didn’t tell me everything because he wanted to protect me—or whatever—but I could tell.”

Her eyes close, and she takes a long inhale through her nose. It’s as if she’s digging memories out of the dark places I usually keep mine buried and never revisit.

“It was the way he lit up when he told stories,” she continues. “He didn’t have to say it outright; I knew you meant a lot to him. That this life meant a lot to him, even if it was destroying him in the process. He could never sit still. Could never just… I knew it would catch up with him.”

She trails off, her eyes shining back at me, the warmth of them tainted in something darker. Because I might be staring at Cassie, but it’s her broken heart staring back. The girl I hurt before I even met her. And if she knew the truth, if she knew what I’d done, she would never forgive me.

I should tell her. Right now, out loud.

I’m the reason your brother is dead.

I should lay reality out between us and see what she does with it. She deserves to know. Myth cut her out those last few months before he died. He cut his whole family out. The least I could do is give her some closure.

It’s selfish to keep this secret. But I’ve never been good at doing the right thing, hence why I couldn’t even bring myself to show up at his funeral. I never reached out or spoke up. I let the dark place inside me claim my soul, let it fester there.

I know I should tell her, but I can’t.

No amount of penance will bring Myth back. And while I might be able to figure out who is responsible for this scandal with the tape, I can’t be trusted with a heart I broke before I even touched it. All my words will do is shatter what’s left.

A weight sits in my chest, heavier when Cassie breaks her trance, and a small smile ticks on the corner of her lips.

How much longer do I have with her smile?

I could drown in her.

“What did you think of the show tonight?” I change the subject and hope she can’t sense the panic that just shot straight through me.

Cassie scoots closer, and our shoulders are almost brushing. Being near her is more intense than any sex I’ve had, any drug I’ve tried. I can almost hear the devil laughing as he looks up.

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