Page 28 of Heart Break Her

Cassie

KnowingSebastianisarock star is different than watching it play out up close. Women literally throw themselves at him. Half-naked, running full force to try and get past security as we stand in front of the line of buses.

I have no right to be jealous. Sebastian is keeping me at arm’s length. It’s the proof I need to confirm that what we had was nothing more than a one-night stand, and it’s meant to stay that way. I’m his dead friend’s sister, nothing more. And the guilt he’s carrying around is the only reason he invited me on tour in the first place.

If only I could deny the spring coiled tightly in my stomach as I watch him talking to a random woman with double my cleavage.

It isn’t necessarily the way they paw at him that bothers me, or the way they obviously try to lean in so he’ll look at their chests. It’s their eyes. Scanning him like he’s meat that will feed their desire or ambition. They don’t see anything but the celebrity he is.

They don’t know him.

What makes you think you do?

This was a bad idea. I don’t make spontaneous decisions. Especially ones that involve packing a bag and getting on a private jet with one of the world’s most famous rock stars. Yet here I am, texting my parents so they’ll hold off the search party, and lying to myself. As if being seen with Sebastian and his band isn’t going to cause more uproar in the press.

Although, from the way he was rushed away the second he got off the plane, I’m not sure I’ll be seeing much of him. He might as well be putty stretched in twenty different directions the way everyone seems to need something different from him. And that’s a good thing. The lines are drawn. I can’t get involved with him past the point we already did, so I need to keep my distance as much as possible.

The only good news that came from the last twenty-four hours is that Sebastian’s team effectively shut down the video on the main site it was posted to. The hosts were risking a lawsuit without our consent, so they didn’t have much choice. But even if that is somewhat a relief, it doesn’t change the fact that the video is already out there. And even if the original was taken down, there’s no taking it back.

Merry drags me along behind her as she works her way through the crew, saying her hellos and touching base. From what I’ve gathered, they stopped in Richmond, Virginia to wait for Sebastian’s plane to land, but everyone is rushing to get back on their buses so we can hit the road again.

She stops to talk to a girl with wild red hair and introduces her as Rumi. I recognize the name from when Merry first took the job with Enemy Muse. They’re friends from childhood, but I’ve never met her in person. She’s pretty, with a galaxy of freckles on her cheeks that compliment her pale green eyes, and a smile that brightens up her face.

Rumi gives me a hug instead of a handshake and seems genuinely nice. Everyone does. A little too nice, sometimes. They all watch me as I follow Merry around, and I wonder how many of them have seen the video.

I’d like to think they respect Sebastian enough not to, but the way some eyes follow me like they want me on my knees in front of them tells me otherwise.

If only they knew the girl in the video isn’t really me. Up until a week ago, I’d have classified my sex life as pretty boring. I can count the number of men I’ve had sex with on one hand, and I was in a relationship with each of them when it happened. I’m not the girl chasing celebrities with my boobs out and doing freaky things in the bedroom. Not that the roadies would believe it at the moment.

I can guess what they’re thinking. Myth wasn’t discreet about his many flings and the kind of trouble roadies got into. He messed around with his fair share of men and women on the road, and in an effort to keep me away, he lectured me constantly about guys like him.Guys like Sebastian. Guys who lived life a little too hard and fast.

This sex tape would have broken my brother’s heart. He refused to see me as anything but his innocent little sister. He would have been pissed, probably punched Sebastian in the face, whether they were friends or not—likelybecausethey were friends—but he would have stuck by my side right after. Even if he would have been upset with everything that has happened since.

With Myth beside me, I felt like I could take on anything. Fix anything. If he were here, I would have faith that I’ll survive this tour and all that comes with it.

But he’s not.

Instead, I’m at the mercy of Sebastian and his band, hiding in plain sight. I’m still not sure I can trust them, only that I know Myth did.

“Here’s our bus.” Merry motions to the colossal beast next to her. “We like to call it the femme fatale because men fear it.”

She climbs the stairs, and somehow, it’s bigger inside than it seemed outside of it. We walk into what appears to be the common space with seats and a table. A few women are sprinkled throughout on laptops and phones, all eyes meeting mine when Merry steps out from in front of me.

I can’t help but feel I just stepped into the lions’ den, and I don’t know if they’ll make me one of their own or claw my eyes out. I’m suddenly a long way from my comfortable Seattle apartment, my dream job, and the life I was supposed to be living.

I’ve never felt more out of place.

“Girls, this is Cassie, she’s gonna ride with us for a while.” Merry looks back at me with a smile, like it will help soften the blow of this. “Cassie, these are the girls. You met Rumi.”

Rumi waves at me from one of the chairs in the back, but doesn’t look up from her phone, as she goes back to typing away.

“This is Stacy.” Merry points to a woman who is already smiling at me. Her blood red lipstick stands out against her smooth dark skin, and there’s genuine kindness in her eyes. “She handles the general day to day schedules for the crew. And sometimes the band. Stacy basically keeps shit together around here.”

Merry moves on to a woman sitting at the table next. “This is Megan.”

Megan looks much more skeptical and doesn’t smile, instead tucking her short blonde hair behind her ears and scanning me from head to toe.

“Meg and her team handle makeup and hair for the band. She can turn a troll gorg. Girl’s got talent.”

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