Page 13 of Heart Break Her

She probably should.

Her pink lips part, and I think she might. But her body shifts in, and the slight nod of her head is all I need to wrap my hand around the back of her neck and pull her to me. Even if, deep down, I know it’s the wrong decision, and she’s a girl who deserves a lot more than I can give.

But I’m lost. I’m desperate. And I hope to fuck she’s the angel who’s going to either carry me back home or finally drag me to Hell where I belong.

4

Cassie

Sebastiantasteslikewhiskey,pot, and wintergreen gum. Like everything that should be a warning sign to a good girl like me. But it sets my body off like the start of a chain reaction from my mouth to between my legs.

I’m not sure what it is about Sebastian—the smell of leather, the heat of his skin, the way he feels like the loss of control. But it makes me want to hold him together so he can stay in place. Like maybe if I can keep the pieces of him from shifting, it will heal all the broken parts of this past year that are shattered beyond repair inside of myself.

But, as his kiss deepens, I’m lost. Because one swipe of his lips on mine and I know we’re both looking for what the other can’t offer: someone to make them whole again.

It was a bad idea to come back to his hotel room. It’s not the kind of thing a girl like me does, especially knowing what rock stars are capable of. Sitting here with him tonight only confirms everything I assumed. He’s a hazard, a player, a disaster. His heart is surrounded in rocks that wreck even the most careful of ships.

But I can’t help myself.

The faintest glimpse of something beneath the pain in his eyes, and the self-saboteur in me had to know more.

Sebastian pulls me onto his lap, and I straddle him. One of his arms wraps around my waist, while the other hand holds the line of my jaw, skimming the front of my throat with his thumb. He tips my head back to take me deeper, and I don’t know if it’s the single hit of his joint or if it’s just him that’s making my brain fuzzy.

His mouth moves from mine, down my throat, pausing where my heartbeat meets my skin. He stops his lips there, and I wonder if he feels my heart racing for him the same way I feel the effect I’m having on him between his legs.

After a long moment, he tips his head back, leaning it against the couch and staring into my eyes. His hands move up and down my sides, but he doesn’t go for the hem of my shirt or the button on my jeans. He just traces me.

I hold onto his shoulders and realize they’re as solid as I expected. Strong mounds I roll my hands over, before sinking my fingers into his traps and appreciating how his body relaxes at the pressure.

“What’s it like?” I ask him when he’s quiet for a while, just staring at me. He quirks an eyebrow. “Being up on stage, having everyone worship you, being at the top of the world?”

All things I can’t imagine, and not because I’m shy in front of large crowds of people, but because it’s nothing like how I live my life. Quiet, under the radar. Avoiding the cracks that’ll pull me under like they did my brother.

Sebastian brings his hands to the sides of my face and rakes my hair back, dragging his fingers through it until his hands mirror mine on my shoulders.

“Terrifying,” he says.

Something about the shift in his eyes tells me maybe that’s the truth, but it’s not what he wanted to say.

“Why?”

His eyes close, and I wonder if I’m stepping over a line or pushing too hard, but he answers. “They’re all relying on me.”

He doesn’t clarify if it’s his band, the fans, or his family. Maybe it’s all of them.

I move my hands up into his hair and trace circles on the back of his head, while he runs his down and tightens his grip around my waist. There’s something unspoken, and I wonder if maybe this is just how he is with women. Maybe what I’m sensing isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Maybe he’s a physically affectionate person who absorbs you like a sponge when you’re around him, and the closeness is nothing special.

After all, I’m sure he’s had lots of practice.

“What are you thinking?” he asks, like he sees my eyes working.

“You’ve been with lots of women.” I surprise myself by answering him honestly.

Something about Sebastian makes me want to carve open my chest and hand him the truth. That thought alone should be terrifying. But it isn’t.

This is only for tonight. For me, for him. Something I’ll tuck away in my head when I go back to my carefully planned life. A life where I do and say all the right things. Tonight is a temporary escape from the pressure weighing me down, and being around Sebastian feels like permission to let go.

“What do you think about that?” Sebastian asks instead of trying to deny what I said. We both know it would be a lie if he did.

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