Page 50 of Miss Understood

If only I wasn’t starting to doubt it.

At first, it was just sex. Really hot, mind-blowing, life-shattering sex. And it was only supposed to be the one time. But it was like once we got a taste, it was impossible to not want more. These past couple weeks are proof.

I might still have my own room at Jesse’s apartment, but I haven’t been staying in it. At first, I started sleeping in Jesse’s room out of convenience because we kept passing out after our marathon fucking sessions. But then, slowly, my things started migrating. Into his closet, his bathroom.

It's been two weeks since I’ve slept alone in bed.

But that doesn’t have to mean we’re in a real relationship with expectations and pressure. That would be ridiculous. We don’t hassle each other, or need to explain ourselves if we’re working late. We don’t get demanding about each other’s time like people in relationships do.

We fuck, plain and simple. And we pretend to be married. It’s like a relationship, without all the bullshit.

If marriage was actually like this, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Screams erupt again, and I notice a girl running across the stage. Security chases her as she heads straight for Sebastian. They grab her right before she makes contact, and he gives her a sly wink as his mouth practically makes love to the microphone. The man is hot. There’s no denying it.

So why does my lady business not get the memo?

I look over at my girlfriends. Kennedy is wrapped up in the performance, singing along to every song. Absorbed and ignoring us. Monica is on her phone again with a smile on her face, no doubt texting Carson. The only reason she showed up is her sister. It’s clear this isn’t her scene.

Monica looks up at me for the briefest moment and gives me a knowing wink. We’ve been friends as long as Kennedy and I have, but I’ve always known we didn’t have much in common. Especially when it comes to our views on relationships. But as her eyes dart back to her phone, something creeps up from an unfamiliar place. It’s like maybe for the first time I wish everything she believes could actually be true.

Brushing off the thought, I turn back to the music. I let it drown out my thoughts, and I try my best to focus on the sexy, half-naked musician grinding against the microphone stand. His eyes dip my way, and I swear his grin widens before he moves on to other faces in the crowd.

Still, I feel nothing.

“We owe your sister big time!” Kennedy screams. The girl is drenched in sweat and thrumming with excitement. I didn’t realize she was such a big Enemy Muse fan. But I guess there aren’t many women who aren’t. They exploded onto the scene a few years ago and went from nobodies to household names.

Rome, the guitar player, does a sweep of the crowd and kneels almost directly in front of us for his guitar solo. Sweat shakes off him, and when I look over at Kennedy, I swear she’s about to crawl up there and straddle him. Monica looks less impressed, but there’s definitely interest behind those big brown eyes. Rome falls back onto the stage at the end of the riff, and Sebastian takes the crowd back over.

I missed this. Concerts, girl’s nights, having a life.

My time with Jesse makes it clear as day that I’ve been spending too much time in the office. Ever since law school, my job has been my life; everything else has come in second. I saw my friends when it fit my schedule, dated just to scratch the itch, visited my family every other Christmas.

I’ve spent so much time working on other people’s relationships, and I’ve forgotten what it could be like to have my own.

An arm hooks into mine, and I look over to see Kennedy’s eyes on me. The band has slowed down the song, and she leans in so she doesn’t have to yell.

“You know there’s nothing wrong with letting yourself like him, right?” She looks up at me, and a warm feeling floods my chest.

“It’s not that I don’t like him,” I say, knowing I’m well past the point of pretending there’s animosity between us. “The sex is spectacular.”

“I’m sure it is.” She nods, but there’s no way she missed the deflection. Her eyes close for a moment as she sways to the music. “You’ve just been guarded for a long time, Lucey, and trust me, I get it. It’s scary to open up to people. But I’ve got to be honest, it’s been years since I’ve seen you like this.”

“At a concert?”

“No, happy.” Her stare lands on me, and deep inside I know she’s right. “And you deserve it.”

I pat her arm and rest my head against hers. “I’m enjoying the situation, that’s all. I like my freedom.”

“Who says you have to give that up? Has he asked you to?”

“No.”

“Then what freedom are you sacrificing by seeing where things go?” Kennedy sighs. “Just don’t hold yourself back because you think you have to. It’s not taboo to actually like your husband, you know? I know you like to live by a certain set of rules, but it’s okay to throw them out the window every once in a while. I did, and look what it got me.”

“A sexy-as-fuck billionaire?” I say.

“Exactly,” she says with a laugh. “But not just that. I’m happy in a way I didn’t think was possible.”

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