Page 110 of Gifted

“Doctor Walter Clausen. Next time you’re in the library, check out the section on neuroscience. Dr. Walter Clausen authored half the books. I guarantee many of the students are here just to cross his path.” He looks away. When he finally returns, my heart breaks. “My mother went after him, not the other way around. She thought he could help us.”

I gasp, sick at the thought.

“Obviously, she didn’t know what would happen,” he adds quickly. “She was scared, afraid for me. Maybe even afraid of me. She read about his research and decided if anyone could help us it was the brilliant neuroscientist in the States. She wasn’t seduced by his money and charm, but his vow to help me. And he fed her all the sunshine and promises she could handle. She fell in love with her white knight.” He stares at the ground and clenches his fists. “And he fell in love with me. Or more accurately, what a child like me could do for his life’s work. I’vebecome his entire existence. He hates me and reveres me at the same time.”

After another lengthy pause, he continues.

“When I told you I was responsible for Madison Academy, I was being literal. Clausen gave up his post as chair of the neuroscience department at Olde York to pursue his research full time. He founded Madison Academy, presumably as a ‘progressive school’ for gifted students like me. Really, it’s just become his giant toybox.”

“But how can he publish all this stuff? Wouldn’t the scientific community question his research tactics?”

Daniel shakes his head. “He doesn’t publish any of it. It would be easier to fight him if it were about the money, fame, or reputation. Those are weaknesses I could exploit, but he doesn’t care about any of that. His pursuit is pure. No one knows what’s going on here except the people in that room, and Clausen is perfectly fine keeping it that way.”

My stomach rolls again. “That’s why you have to play along. Officially, there’s nothing to tell.”

He nods. “One of many reasons. You’ve seen what happens when I bring others into this. Besides, what am I going to say? The beloved godfather of the scientific community, the man who’s dedicated his entire life to helping troubled, special kids, is actually torturing some forgotten German orphan to save all of humanity? Who would I even tell? Even if I found someone willing to listen, with a slight twist of the truth Clausen could explain it away. Don’t you think I’ve tried? That’s the whole point of those group sessions.”

“What do you mean?”

“He uses those stupid support groups to measure where we stand so he knows how far he can go. We’re helping him write the very rules he’s exploiting.” He must read my disgust and sighs. “It wasn’t always like this. Back in the beginning,he believed he could balance both of his goals: assisting special people like us, while pursuing his own obsession with knowledge. In all honestly, he still believes that. I’m sure he thinks what he’s doing to me is justified for the good of all. Hell, he even loved my mother once. I don’t doubt that.

“Over time, however, his instinct for his research took over, and he lost touch with every other part of himself. He’s now created an entire universe where he’s God. That’s his obsession. All of this is to keep that universe in order.”

“But you’re still his stepson! A piece of him has to remember that. It has to remember your mother.”

He draws his knees to his chest. “I’m not a son to him. I’m not even a human anymore. I’m a test subject, his alpha lab rat. You’ve seen the way he looks at me.”

I have and it makes me shudder even now. Still, there has to be some hope. “Maybe we can get through to him somehow. Maybe if we just understood—”

Fire radiates from his eyes. “You saw what they did that day. Every day since then, they drag me down the hall and experiment with that shit until I can’t even scream anymore.” His gaze melts into anguish, and I feel myself shattering. “The pain isn’t a side effect, Rebecca; it’s their goal. Tell me what I’m not understanding.”

I grip his hand and allow the images to slice through me. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whisper, and he pulls away with an urgent look.

“Someone’s coming. You have to hide.”

I let go and rush back to my place behind the door. After an agonizing moment, I hear footsteps as well.

Clausen surveys his son’s state before settling himself on Daniel’s cot. “I wanted to apologize for today,” he begins in a gentle voice. Daniel doesn’t look at him, his expression hardening. “We didn’t intend for things to go as far as theydid. We just got caught up in the moment.” Daniel still doesn’t respond, except to wrap his arms around his legs and rest his forehead on his knees. “How are you feeling? Would you like the temperature raised in here?” Daniel shakes his head. “Can we talk about the results? We expected the cold water to have a diminishing effect, but it seemed to heighten it instead.”

“I’m not going to give you a new hypothesis to test,” he mutters.

Clausen sighs and leans forward. “I know these last few weeks have been difficult for you. I don’t expect you to forgive, but I hope you can at least appreciate the tremendous value of your sacrifice.”

“Don’t call it a sacrifice,” he fires back. “I never had a choice.”

“We all have choices, son.”

“I’m not your son.”

“Look.” He clasps his hands. “Your friend Rebecca asked me once at what point you had completed your duty to the world. At what point we would conclude you had given enough. You and I both know there is no end. Information is infinite, and you are probably one of the greatest conduits to pass through our time. At the same time…” He stops and watches Daniel for a moment. “Maybe you’ve done enough.”

Daniel’s gaze shoots to his.

“I’m not a monster,” Clausen says quietly. “I know it might seem that way. I know these years have been difficult for you, but I’m not blind to what we’ve done. What we were trying to accomplish was just too important to let our soft hearts get in the way. You are a rock, Daniel. We turned you into a pillar of strength capable of surviving all known levels of human endurance. It helped you survive and gave us unprecedented opportunities to test the limits of the human condition. But we’ve learned there are limits.”

“Forgive me if I’m not touched by your epiphany.”

Clausen sighs. “I can understand your resentment. You never asked to be special.”

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