Page 4 of Owen Gardner is Losing It

Abigail let out a little gasp and turned to Xander, “Shit, I just remembered I need to be back by seventh period. I have to turn in an essay.”

Xander let out a melodramatic groan. “Jesus. I’m sittin’ here with a couple of straight-A virgins.”

Abigail froze. I couldn’t see her face, but judging from the expression on Xander’s, she was giving him a long, hard stare. “Who are you calling a virgin?”

Xander looked genuinely hurt. “Don’t tell me you did it with that basketball dork.”

“Ryan? We dated for the entirety of sophomore year. What do you think?”

Xander’s lips parted as he absorbed this information. “I just thought… I didn’t think you were like that, is all.”

I sucked air in through my teeth the second my friend uttered those words, bracing myself for what would come next. “Wow, Xander.” Abigail grabbed her phone from the dashboard and paused the Vampire Weekend song. “Wow,” she repeated. Then she turned to me. “Move.”

Without hesitation, I opened the door and moved out of the way of the feisty redhead who couldn’t even look at Xander. She stormed off toward the store, yanking the screen door open and letting it slam shut behind her.

“Not cool,” I said, sliding back into my seat. I took the joint from Xander. “You basically slut-shamed her.”

With his hands on the steering wheel, Xander peered toward the door of Boomer’s like he might catch a glimpse of whatever Abigail was doing inside. “I just always thought I’d be her first.”

“You could’ve been,” I reminded him, blowing smoke out the window. I coughed a couple of times before turning back to him to say, “You could still be her second. She’s not, like, ruined for you.”

“I know she’s not,” he snapped. “But… I’d be the one to ruin her. Which is exactly why I stay away.”

“And what a good job of that you’re doing today.”

Xander gave me the side-eye. “Get off my dick, Gardner. You’re giving me a lot of shit today. Why don’t you apply that same boldness inside there with that older babe?” He nodded toward Boomer’s and began to say something else, but Abigail came outside carrying a little pouch of candy. He was distracted.

When I opened the door to let her back in, she pushed it shut, leaning against the open window instead. “Okay,” she said, biting the end off of a green gummy worm. “I’m with Xander. We’re getting you laid.”

“What?” I asked with a nervous laugh.

“That girl is just quirky enough that this could work. She was humming along to a Beatles song, and she’s got aLord of the Ringstattoo. And she’s even cuter up close.” Abigail tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled. “I mean, if you don’t make a move, maybe I will.”

I wiped my palms on my jeans, staring straight ahead at the girl who was now leaning over the counter reading a book. “She has a tattoo?” I swallowed. “I definitely can’t do this.”

“Sure you can.” Xander clapped his hand against my shoulder. “Go in there and say something suave, like…”

Abigail craned her neck to shoot him a judgy look. “Thought you were a writer?” She turned to me. “Just walk in and be your usual, charming self. Make aLord of the Ringsreference. It’ll work.”

“I just had the best idea,” Xander said. “My grandparents are on a cruise right now. We could have a little soirée at their house and invite this girl.”

Abigail gasped, leaning through the window. “The cabin? Oh my gosh, I used to love walking down there with you when we were kids.”

Abigail and Xander grew up on the same country road just outside of town, and his grandparents lived in a little log cabin in the woods around the corner. I think his grandfather built it or something.

“Yeah, the cabin,” Xander said, clamping his hand down even harder on my shoulder. He locked eyes with me. “It’s secluded and cozy. Perfect for a small party. And there’s a king-sized bed for you to lose your virginity on, my guy.”

I blinked. “I cannot express enough how much this is not happening tonight, so you can just forget it.” I turned to Abigail. “Both of you.”

I was momentarily distracted by the blonde girl, who stepped outside to dump a Styrofoam cup of ice on the gravel. Her hair shone beneath the sun, creating a halo effect around the crown of her head. I could feel Xander and Abigail staring at me while I watched her, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

“How about this for motivation?” Xander asked, crossing his arms. “I’m not taking us back to school until you at least talk to her. You’ll miss your test.”

“You’re not serious.”

Xander shut off his truck, keeping his eyes on me the entire time. “I mean it, Gardner. This truck’s not starting until you go in there.”

This wasn’t fair. I looked at Abigail, expecting her to have some sympathy, but her grin was just as wicked as Xander’s.

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