Page 23 of Owen Gardner is Losing It

There was only one way to find out.

I made my way toward the dwindling fire, where Xander was seated on a hay bale, poking at the logs with a long stick. He saw me approach, but he quickly turned back to the fire, refusing to acknowledge me.

But I wasn’t going to give him a choice. I sat beside him and folded my hands between my knees, staring at the glowing embers until they made my eyes burn.

He spoke first. “Thought you left.”

“No,” I said, and I cleared my throat. “Someone’s got to help you clean up in the morning.”

Xander still wouldn’t look at me. “Your brother was looking for you.”

I shook my head, grateful Jake hadn’t found me. “Where’s Abigail?”

“Haven’t seen her in a while.”

How long had he been sitting out here alone? We were quiet for a moment or two, just staring at the crackling fire. Finally, I turned to him again and said, “Xan, I didn’t mean what I said. You’re nothing like your dad.”

“Yeah, I am. It’s in my blood.”

“No it’s not,” I said, resting my hands on the edges of the hay bale. “You’re the one who’s going to break the cycle.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Every time I look at him, it’s like I’m getting a glimpse of my future, and that scares the hell out of me.”

“I know you’re better than that. And I’ll keep pushing you, just like you push me, until you see it, too.”

Xander blew air from his nose in a silent laugh. “I can’t even help my friend get laid. I’m worthless.”

“Well…” I opened my mouth before promptly closing it, deciding in that moment I wasn’t ready to talk about Lena with him just yet. That could wait.

He lowered his stick to the ground and turned to face me, finally looking me in the eyes. “Hey, I’m sorry for being really forward with Beth. I wasn’t trying to steal her away from you. I don’t think I fully realized what I was doing. I could stand to be a little more self-aware.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “As it turns out, she’s not right for me, anyway. It’s fine with me if you want to date her.”

Xander shook his head, staring at the fire with a crooked grin. “That’s not happening. I tried to get her to stay, but she blew me off.”

“Guess we both struck out with her, then.”

“Guess so.” We sat there for a few minutes in silence again, and I sleepily watched him attempt to stoke the fire. It was hardly a fire at all anymore, just burning embers and ashes. I half-expected Xander to comment on the quiet Coldplay song playing over on Abigail’s speaker, but he didn’t say a word. In fact, I caught him mouthing the lyrics.

Up on the deck, the back door slid open, and Abigail emerged from the cabin with a quilt draped around her body. She made her way over to us, where she stood before the hay bale and said, “Scoot.” We slid apart so she can squeeze between us on the hay. “What a night,” she sighed.

“Where’ve you been?” Xander asked.

“Making my rounds. Taking keys from drunk idiots. Tucking people into your grandparents’ bed.” She turned to Xander. “Someone spilled beer on the carpet in there.”

“Great."

“We’ll get it tomorrow,” she said, pulling the blanket tighter around her arms. Then she turned to me. “Owen, I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Beth.”

“It’s all good,” I said, sitting up a little straighter. “Actually, I finally asked Lena to prom, and she said yes.”

Abigail gasped and punched me in the shoulder. “Owen! Shut up!” She laughed. “You guys are going to look so cute together.”

“Yeah, be sure an’ take lots of pics,” Xander mumbled, “because I sure as hell won’t be there.”

“Why not?” Abigail scoffed.

“I’ve already told you. Prom is stupid. You have to pay for a ticket. And you have to pay for a tux. And girls expect flowers and dinner and a limo and all of that, and for what? A stupid dance where our least favorite teachers stand around and supervise us? I can think of a million better things to do.”

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