Page 17 of Owen Gardner is Losing It

“Never have I ever thrown a party as a desperate attempt to stay relevant after alienating myself from all of my friends,” I snapped.

“Okay,” Abigail said with a nervous giggle. “This is getting a little personal. Maybe we could make them a little more broad?”

Xander’s eyes seemed to darken. Ignoring her, which he was getting really good at, he said, “Never have I ever thrown a party so my best friend can have the opportunity to lose his virginity to a girl he met at a gas station, only to watch him embarrass himself the whole night and fuck it up.” He paused with a smirk. “Oops, forgot the rules.”

Everyone was silent as Xander took a long swig from his beer cup.

It felt like the ground had just been pulled out from under me, and my stomach swirled with a mix of humiliation and anger. I could feel every pair of eyes around the fire on me, awaiting my reaction, but I was frozen. The edges of my vision blurred, and I could only see Xander’s stupid, self-satisfied face. It suddenly looked very punchable.

“My turn,” Abigail announced with a nervous chuckle. “Never have I ever kissed a girl!” She rushed the words out like she was in a hurry to divert everyone’s attention from the fight that was brewing.

Xander and I took a drink, keeping our eyes on each other the entire time. And then, deciding I’d had enough of this game, I tilted my cup all the way back until every last drop was gone and tossed it onto the fire. With only a quick glance at Beth, who was wiping beer from her upper lip, I rose to my feet and walked off toward the darkness.

This was over.

I hadn’t even made it past the chicken coop when I heard heavy, quick footsteps behind me. “Owen.” I picked up my pace until Xander grabbed me by the arm. “What the fuck was that all about?”

I wriggled from his grasp. “I was about to ask you the same thing. Why are you trying to embarrass me in front of Beth?”

“I wasn’t. I was just fucking around. Why are you being so sensitive?”

Sensitive.I’d heard that word used to describe me far too many times, usually by people whose idea of a fun time was pointing out the weaknesses of others. God forbid I react appropriately or attempt to defend myself.

“I’m not being sensitive,” I hissed. “You’ve been flirting with Beth all night.”

Xander laughed in astonishment. “Flirting? I have not been flirting with her.”

“Yes you have, and I’m not the only one who’s noticed.” He raised one eyebrow in question. How could he not know? “Abigail, idiot. Abigail’s noticed.”

Xander’s lips parted slowly. “Oh. Well, I’m not trying to be flirtatious with Beth. I’m just friendly with girls. It’s in my nature.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why can’t it be in your nature to not fuck things up with Abigail? I know you like her, but you’ve squandered every chance with her you’ve ever had. Even when she’s practically throwing herself at you. She tried to get you toask her to prom. She tried to get you to walk to the shed with her. Missed opportunity after missed opportunity.” I let out a cold laugh. “Why do I ever take advice about girls fromyou? You’re the last person I should be getting advice from.”

“Yeah, I’m sure all those douchey nerds you run around with these days are providing you with sage advice about girls.”

I took a step closer. “At least those nerds are going somewhere in life. I love how you act like they’re just a bunch of losers–like they should all be jealous of you. Jealous of what? You’re not even going to college. You’re probably going to be stuck in Woodvale forever and you’ll end up just like your dad.”

With those last words, I stuck the knife in deep and twisted it, knowing how much pain they’d inflict. Xander’s eyes flickered with anger or perhaps another emotion, and he let out the breath he’d been holding. Slowly, I watched him sink–his shoulders slumped, and his chin tilted downward.

Shit.I’d said way too much. And I hadn’t meant a single word of it. I thought up the words that would hurt him the most and hurled them at him like daggers. This wasn’t me.

I walked closer to him and held my hand out to touch his shoulder. “Xander, I’m–”

He jerked away. “I amnothinglike my father.”

“I know,” I said, letting my arm drop to my side. “I'm sorry.”

“Get the fuck out of my face,” he demanded through gritted teeth.

“Xan. I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have–”

“Get. The fuck. Away. From me.”

I didn’t need to be told a third time. Xander’s fists were clenched, and I knew that if I dared utter another word, this would turn physical, and the party really would be over.

As I walked past him, I kept enough distance between us that neither of us would be tempted to throw a blow, and I made my way up toward the cabin. It felt like the gravel was sinkingbeneath my feet with every step. Needing to steady myself, I ran my hand along the parked cars lining the driveway as I trudged forward.

Just as my foot touched the first porch step, I was distracted by a car pulling into the front yard, making a parking space out of Xander’s grandparents’ landscaping. The passenger door flung open, and my brother stepped out with his usual shit-eating grin. “Hey, baby brother,” he said as a crumpled beer can fell out of the car beside him. “How’s your night goin’?”

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