Page 53 of Cryptic Dreams

Which is ridiculous, I’m sure.

Wraith doesn’t need my approval for anything, absolutely nothing, because I know he would be the perfect mate in every way if things were different. And I couldn’t even begin to imagine rejecting someone as beautiful and as charming as Wraith, with his hotter than sin good looks and the charisma that practically oozes out of his pores. He’s funny and thoughtful, protective and attentive. He’s almost sweet with me now and if I thought it meant he could possibly want me, I’d be a fool to deny or reject our bond in even the smallest way.

It’s exactly why I haven’t.

Part of me is holding out hope that all of the things I feel coming from him, all of the things he’s been doing for me, the way he’s softened to the point of letting his defenses drop almost completely, I hope it means that Wraith might be reconsidering what he said to me the night we met.

And again, I’m lying to myself with that because I know he has. I’m too in tune with Wraith, too focused on everything about him to believe his behavior has changed for any reasons other than love and forever. I’m just not confident enough to allow myself to completely embrace it, not yet, but I’m getting there.

I did what Wraith said and thought long and hard about our very first conversation, and aside from sort of telling me I was nothing, none of what he said actually was directed at me. And he really didn’t even tell me I was nothing, just told me that I believed I was, and he was right.

He spoke cryptically enough to have me believing everything was directed at me, believing he truly thought I’m nothing, but as I picked apart his words while digging through my history books, I realized Wraith basically told me that I was the one who believed I was unworthy and it’s why that version of myself couldn’t be his mate.

The weak, spineless and disgraceful little female I believed I was, still am to a degree, wasn’t made for him. No, the female that was created to be the other half of a Descendant’s heart is more the female I’ve gradually been becoming since living here for almost a month.

The female I was, the one I used to be, she died when my parents did.

And Wraith somehow knew that.

He knew without knowing me at all that I used to be strong and resilient, still bookish and a loner because of my gifts, but I was much more confident, more passionate, more driven before my parents died. My zest for life was much stronger, my quest for knowledge unmatched, and while I stopped dreaming of friends and true love, I started dreaming of all the things I wanted to achieve on my own.

A house, a career, maybe even a dog. I wanted everything all the other females my age had and I was set on getting them. But when my parents were killed, when Orion and I became orphans well into our hundreds, part of my fire was snuffed out. Then once I was alone with Ian for so long, the embers were doused too and that horrible man left nothing but smoldering ash.

And for some reason, even with the initial sting of his words, Wraith has made me realize I’m not that female, was never meant to be that female, and just being around him has forced me to embrace my truth and try to fully accept it.

I’m notballs to the wallas Aries says, not yet, but I don’t cower around my mate anymore, I don’t avoid him or remain silent. I look Wraith right in those beautiful black eyes and speak my mind, engage with him in a way I haven’t engaged with anyone that wasn’t my cousin or his mate since my mother and father were alive.

Feisty or not, I’ve never been good with others, solely because my gifts made it so in one way or another. Not to mention taking online classes and working at the library sort of limited my social interactions, but it doesn’t really matter. Not now that I’m actively communicating, even joking around, with my super sexy and very intimidating mate, whether he wants me or not.

Which he does, right this second anyway.

Wraith hasn’t ever come to my room before, so he clearly wanted my undivided attention for a few minutes and here I am, totally lost in thought and pretending like I have a solid backbone.

So, I quickly close my textbook then slide off the bed. Thankfully, or not depending how you look at it, I only slept for a few hours and got up well before Wraith did, so I’m already showered and dressed like a bum.

I slip on my moccasins, the ones Wraith left for me sometime last week, then hurry down the stairs to find the male standing at the island in the kitchen scowling the prettiest scowl at the piping hot coffees on the counter.

“Did the machine fight you again?” I smirk as I walk in and hop up on one of the stools.

Then I realize he’s not only scowling, but Wraith is dressed like he’s about to go to Plasma, the crisp white button down and Italian dress slacks hugging every muscled inch of his body in a very drool-inducing way.

Maybe that’s what he wanted to tell me. Wraith wanted to let me know he was going out and wouldn’t be home until tomorrow. Then again, when he isn’t wearing too short robes, this is the only way I’ve seen him dressed, so it could mean nothing.

And instead of letting the idea of him going out to meet other females crush me, I sit tall in my chair and grin. “I feel a little underdressed.”

Wraith’s eyes snap to mine before they do a slow perusal of my messy topknot, thin tank top and another baggy sweater.

I do believe the temperature in the room just went up about twenty degrees.

Wow.

“You, my gentle breeze, have not nearly enough clothes on.”

I scowl instantly because, well, that kind of hurt. I didn’t think he liked what he saw when I bumped into him in only a towel, but to hear him basically say it to my face fucking stings. And it pisses me off because damn him for all the stupid mixed signals!

“Go to hell, Wraith,” I spit seconds too late because I said that out loud.Shit.

His brow lifts and those sexy full lips twitch at the corners. “I’ve got myself a one way ticket, love. Afraid you couldn’t damn me even if you tried.”

---