Page 40 of Cryptic Dreams

Right now I’m most definitely demented for an entirely different reason.

One that is making my life so much harder than I ever thought it would be, and let me tell you, up until this point? My life has been pretty damn hard.

I glance in the rearview mirror again—it’s probably the hundredth time I’ve done it—and I have to bite my lip to hide my smile.

Again.

I can’t help it though, not even with the ridiculously confusing feelings I’ve had the last few days.

Those should be enough for me to be super stone-faced and stoic like Orion, but I’m not. Nope. I’m a total mess of all the feelings lately and right now I’m teetering between the purest joy I’ve ever felt, self-loathing, and a bit of fear.

Also, to my total embarrassment; I’m very turned on again but that can’t be helped. It’s biological. When mates share a close proximity, especially when they are unmated, arousal—purposeful or not—is almost constant, and since I’m not sure if my mate hates me, loves me, or is indifferent to me, it’s really damn annoying.

One thing I am sure of though, is the fact that Wraith was definitely grossed out when he saw me almost naked.

My chest squeezes at the thought.

It’s not like I expected him to rip the terry cloth from my body and ravage me right there in the hall, but he didn’t even spare me a second glance, couldn’t even feign interest in what his chosen one looks like under all the layers I normally wear.

Nope, Wraith just stared at the ceiling with a look of disgust and spat more angry words at me.

Didn’t matter that my lady bits were so wet I had to rub my thighs together to prevent a puddle from forming on the antique runner.

Didn’t matter that his scent, Wraith’s intoxicating fragrance that is unique to him alone, became so goddamn strong I could barely breathe.

And it didn’t matter that his dismissal hurt me to the point of tears.

I love him, I want him, and he won’t ever feel the same about me regardless of his primal instincts.Wejust aren’t going to happen.

And even with that knowledge, I can barely fight the grin on my face while I obsessively look in the mirror to see him crammed into the backseat of Aries's suped up truck just so he could come with us to get my things from that house.

Hence, confusion.

Wraith all but said he rejects our bond but everything he’s done since I essentially moved into his home says otherwise.

The insistence Orion and Aries to bring me there in the first place.

The demand I stay—indefinitely.

Coming with us now.

It all contradicts his words, just like everything else he’s done without me knowing.

The little things I find in the kitchen or library, the only two rooms I’m brave enough to venture into and stay for longer than a few minutes.

Like all of the O- blood that’s now in the fridge. That’s my favorite and I’m sure Orion told him, but my cousin told me Wraith usually orders AB+ in his drinks at the club and when I was curious enough to explore the beautiful chef’s kitchen in his home, I found that to be true. But there’s only one shelf of that and two O-.

Or when I went to his library and found first edition copies of Pride and Prejudice, Mrs. Dalloway, and War and Peace pulled from the shelves and set out on the small coffee table next to a simple vase with a black orchid in it. A few more of my favorites obviously left out for me to find, incredibly thoughtful and rather intimate gestures that I’m struggling to understand.

Then there were the paint brushes and easel leaning against the wall outside my bedroom.

Kolinsky Sablepaint brushes and an A-frame easel made inItaly. There had to be close to ten thousand dollars worth of art supplies outside my bedroom and I won’t lie, I cried happy tears for the first time since Orion and Aries mated. I get misty just thinking about it honestly, and that’s not even including the other sweet things I’ve found around the house.

Little things, like the coffee and tea I sometimes like to drink. More of my favorite body wash and lotions. There was even a sweater almost identical to the one I was wearing when… well, the one that got ruined the night I left the house. It was my favorite and I was pretty disappointed that I had to throw it away.

All of those things are my favorites and it either means Wraith is pumping Orion for info, which would be super weird since he doesn’t want me, or he somehow just knows. Which would also be weird because I didn’t think things like that could happen until after you mated, and since we haven’t and most likely won’t do that, I don’t know how Wraith knows this stuff about me.

I’m not mad about it though.

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