Page 181 of The Silent Note

“Zane got me to marry him because of Sloane’s case. He knows where my heart really lies.” Even as I speak the words, they feel bitter on my tongue.

“If you tell the world you married a student, they won’t give you a nice narrative, Grey. They’llcrucifyyou.”

“Weren’t you the one who said I should love Zane and not care what the world thinks?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t tell you to go advertising your love either! Just live quietly and happily.”

“That’s not going to happen for me.” I dip my head. “Since the moment I met Zane wearing a Redwood Prep uniform, I’ve been scared of people finding out. I was scared they’d judge me. That they’d look at me and see those monsters from The Grateful Project. I was scared no one would listen to the truth about Sloane if they thought I was as bad as the ones who murdered her.”

Cadence stares at me with frightened eyes.

“But now I’ll use it as a match. Zane is Jarod Cross’s son and I’m Jarod Cross’s step daughter. Zane is eighteen and I’m twenty four. Zane is my student and I’m his teacher. There’s enough for Jinx to sink her teeth into. And once it catches fire…”

“Everyone will hear about you, about Sloane, about The Grateful Project,” she finishes.

“And if I’ve been murdered, well, that’ll only add fuel to flames. The yakuza can control the mainstream media, but they can’t kill a million social media accounts. Who knows? There might even be a true crime documentary about me.”

“No, there has to be another way.”

“There is.” I pat her hand. “In a perfect world, I’ll go to the police, they’ll use their super advanced technology and government backing to investigate the yakuza. Sloane’s real killer will be sentenced to prison and we’ll all live happily ever after.”

Cadence shakes her head, tears in her eyes.

“But we need to be realistic. We don’t live in a perfect world. Sloane died because we live in a world where grown men can purchase scholarship girls like cattle at an auction. Where teachers like me, yes, the ones just like me, who know better than to get involved with their students… do. Life is messy and dark and imperfect. And it won’t get better untilsomeoneis willing to sacrifice, willing todie,to protect what’s right.”

Cadence rushes forward, tears in her eyes. “Sloane isn’t the only one who cares about you, Grey. We all do. Don’t take this on by yourself. Dutch and I will?—”

“No.” I gently set her hands down. “You have Viola to think about. And you and Dutch are planning on starting a family.”

Her eyes slide down.

“It’ll happen.” My mind trips back to that day in the park when she was crying while watching the toddler on the bike. “Whether or not it happens naturally, you’re going to be an amazing mother, Cadence. I want you to remember that, even if I’m not around.”

“You can’t talk of dying so carelessly,” she sobs.

“I can’t ignore the likelihood of it either. Like you said, I’m dealing with the yakuza now. There’s a one percent chance I walk out of this alive.”

She shakes her head as if she can crack the world apart with the force of the motion.

“I know you and Dutch share everything but… for now can you please not tell the boys? They’ll want to stop me and I can’t have that.”

Feeling a lump of emotions in my own throat, I turn to the laptop and my notepad. “I’ll spend tonight with Zane and then I’ll leave and film the video for Jinx tomorrow. I probably won’t be able to say goodbye. It’s better if you guys don’t know where I am when all this goes down.”

She slaps the lid of my laptop down. “No.”

“Cadence.”

“You can’t, Grey. You can’t go to the police. You can’t tell Jinx. You can’t film a confession. The moment you let that evidence out… Grey, that video is your suicide letter.”

I scratch my nail against the desk. “I know.”

“If you die, he’ll die too.”

“Dutch and Finn and Sol will protect him.”

“That’s not the death I’m talking about,” Cadence says sternly.

My eyes well with tears, and my chesthurts.“I know.”

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