Page 96 of The Broken Note

My heart beats so fast I feel dizzy.

“Got ‘em,” Vi says, hurrying back.

I lurch away, my face on fire.

Vi stops in her tracks. “Cadey, why are you so red?”

“It’s hot out here,” Dutch says. He rubs my back. His hands are pure heat as he skims over my jacket.

“Yeah,” I pant. “It’s really hot.”

Vi shrugs and gives me a napkin.

I reach for it and pin Dutch with an angry glare.

He looks like he’s in complete control of himself, but I’m the total opposite. I want him to touch me again. I want to touch him. I want to see him as undone, as breathless, as needy as I am.

What happened to not ignoring the red flags? What happened to not getting closer to him until you know who he is.

I have to do better.

Iwilldo better.

But as the day wears on, I find myself getting dragged further and further into the fantasy.

What if everyday could be this good? What if I could hear Vi laugh like this all the time?

I catch myself feeling hopeful and shake it off.

This isn’t our reality. This isn’t the life we lead, maybe not even the life we deserve.

There’s a slight, niggling worry in the back of my head. Is this okay? To be happy? To have fun in such a lavish way?

What if this sets Vi up for heartbreak in the future? What if it was better to not have seen, tasted, and experienced rather than to have it once and realize it doesn’t belong to you? That it mayneverbelong to you.

All I want is for my sister to never worry about money or groceries or her mother sneaking into her room and stealing her stuff.

And here is Dutch, giving us a glimpse of a better life.

… But if I let myself fall for it, it’ll only lead to disappointment.

Dreams, desires—they’re too fragile. Shattered in a single touch.

As the sun begins its descent, I pull Vi to me and stand in front of Dutch. “Thanks for today, but I think we should head home now.”

“I can’t go home,” Vi says.

“What? Why?”

“I have a group project.”

My eyes bug. “What do you mean? You didn’t say you had homework this morning.”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t let me go with you guys today.”

“Viola,” I snap.

She smiles innocently and pokes her head around me to look at Dutch. “Can you take me to my friend’s house?”

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