Page 122 of The Ruthless Note

Hate.

Love.

Agony.

They fade and twist and curl around each other like diminished chords. I can hear them moaning through the silence.

Dutch looks down at me with his darkening amber eyes, chiseled jaw and hard mouth. He’s tall and dangerous and built for heartache. But he’s as lost as I am. I can see it all over him.

“Why,” Dutch presses, “are you hiding from music?”

“What kind of question is that?” I ask tightly, trying my best to look tougher than I feel. Adjusting my scarf, I glance away.

Dutch’s gaze doesn’t waver for a second.

My pulse picks up speed. This moment feels familiar. Dutch has always been weirdly intense with my other self. Back then, I thought he was just more attracted to girls with red hair and green eyes.

But maybe it was never about how I looked. Maybe it was always the music that made him run to me. Cling to me. Chase me in a way he’d probably never done before and couldn’t explain why he did then.

My phone buzzes.

I take the opportunity to step away from him and answer Breeze’s call.

“Where are you?” she shrieks. “Are you okay? You didn’t run all the way home, did you?”

“I’m okay,” I say tightly. “I just need a minute.”

Breeze huffs. “You always do that. You always bleed all over that stupid piano until it leaves you hollow inside. I love your music, Cadey, but I hate what it does to you. Do you have to keep forcing yourself up there?”

“I’m attending Redwood on a music scholarship, Breeze. It would be kind of weird if I didn’t actually play music.”

If she were in front of me, she’d be rolling her eyes. Thinking of Breeze’s perturbed expression makes me feel a little more like myself. A little more in control.

I turn slightly and see Dutch looking at me.

My best friend warned me about him. Warned me about the slippery slope of falling for a guy who used to torture you.

I’m not anyone’s idiot.

But I have to make a deal with Jinx tonight.

And I can’t have Breeze getting in the way of that.

“Do you want me to wait so we can go home together?” she asks.

“No.” I swallow hard. “I’d like to be alone.”

“Tonight? I’m not leaving without you, Cadey. Come on. They’re having a party down at the abandoned warehouse. You’ll have fun and forget all about these snotty Redwood Prep kids who don’t deserve your talent.”

I force a smile. “Really, I’ll pass.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Go to the party. Have fun.”

“Text me when you get home. I want to make sure you get in okay.”

“You too.”

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