Page 122 of Defiant Beta

“Della?” A husky note edges into his voice, and his breath stirs the hair on the back of my neck.

Curling my fingers into fists so I can’t touch him again, I bolt because he was right.

Idowant him.

I wantallof them.

Chapter 37

Della

Rushing outof Xavier’s bedroom, I duck into mine, firmly closing the door behind me.

Xavier was right about many things. Iamafraid of being hurt, and I will do almost anything I can to protect myself from more pain.

My eyes settle on my balcony, and suddenly, I feel sick.

Everything comes crashing back.

The dark room. The freezing concrete floor. The belt whipping my back.

And pain. An ocean of it.

Just when I’m starting to forget, it always comes back.

It’s a gray morning on the other side of that wall of glass. I inadvertently shiver, though I’m not so much cold as I am afraid.

Fear sinks into me, and I hate it almost as much as I hate the stupid fucking alphas who abducted me for making me feel so weak.

Clenching my hands into fists, I glare at the sliding glass door. I stride over to it, wrench the door open, and walk right to the balcony edge, curling my fingers around the cool metal as I force myself to look down.

I don’t blink, even when the wind whips into my eyes, causing them to tear up.

They made me feel broken.

Maybe I’ll always feel this way.

Another gust of wind rushes through the trees, tousles my hair, and dislodges tears from my eyes.

I don’t see where the tear goes. I stand there, gripping the edge of the balcony with my bare feet freezing on the cold stone floor, forcing myself to keep looking down.

I need to know I’m not broken. That what they did to me did not change me into someone I don’t recognize.

I refuse to let them hurt my soul even more than they hurt my body.

Zach squats in front of me, thighs wide, palms resting on them as he tilts his head and scrutinizes me like a bug under a scope. "Betas can't take knots, can they?"

He would tear something inside me if he tried. It wouldn’t just hurt. It would be agony.

I press my back to the wall, anxiety swelling inside me as I stare at the dark-haired, blue-eyed alpha who smells of maple and tobacco.

A tiny, cruel smile lifts one side of his mouth. "Maybe we should test that out."

He grabs my ankle and pulls. My heart squeezes, and I panic.

I kick out with my left leg.

He grunts and falls back as I shoot to my feet, rushing toward a black metal door.

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