Page 157 of Defiant Beta

“I’m okay now.”

She’s serious. “Which means you weren’t. Were you?”

She would lose her shit if I told her how bad I was. How little sleep I had, how much food I tossed instead of eating, and about the disturbing thought that scared me more than almost anything ever had.

“I forgot who I was,” I whisper. “It wasn’t the things those alphas did to me that hurt the most. It was the way they made me feel.”

She squeezes me. “You’re Della Jackson, the strongest woman I know, who wouldn’t think twice about taking on a pack of snarling hyenas with a spoon if it meant saving me. You’re brave, and beautiful, and everyone should have a sister just like you because you’re the best.”

Eyes burning, I squeeze her back. Then I laugh. “Aspoon? Againsthyenas? Are you for real?”

“It was the first thing I could think of.” She pulls back to look at me, her smile falling away. “Talk to someone, Della. If it’s me, that’s fine. I will always listen, but talking to a therapist doesn’t make you weak. They will give you the tools to help you find yourself if you lose your way or forget who you are.”

“You lost yourself, too?”

“After I ran away from Lawrence, it was hard to know who I was when he wasn’t there to control everything I did.” She smiles at me. “Now I can do whatever I want. Eat whatever and not care about whether he’ll think I’m putting on weight. Draw for hours and he’s not there to punish me for getting blisters on my fingers.”

“Kylian killed that asshole too damn fast,” I mutter, hugging her. “I should have trampled him with one of his horses.”

She laughs. “You can’t trample someone with a horse, Della.”

“Yeah,” I agree with a sigh. “That wouldn’t have been fair on the horse.”

“My alphas love me,” she continues, “And their love is so healing, but it’s not enough. The therapy is a big part of why I’m doing so much better. Try it.”

I sigh again, knowing she’s right. “Vincent tried giving me a card for a therapist that day you picked me up.”

“I’m going to assume you didn’t take it.”

“I thought they were ditching me.”

“I’m sure they weren’t doing that.”

No. It sounds like they had worked out that Ms. Huffman was the killer, and they didn’t want me to be in danger. I didn’t tell Everleigh about where I was going because I didn’t want to putherin danger. They were doing the same thing I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to see it. Instead, I just saw it as a betrayal. Abandonment.

“They were trying to protect me the way I’m always trying to protect you,” I admit.

She nods. “Good. I like them already.”

I study her for a beat and figure that maybe, just maybe, I couldtrythis therapy thing. Talking with Levi at the motel had helped a teeny tiny bit. “Talking won’t help as much as kicking a wall, but I promise to think about it. And not kick more walls. Rune still hasn’t forgiven me for the dent in your entryway.”

“Let’s go eat breakfast and soak in the pool. I want to hear all about your alphas.”

I blush. “They’re notmyalphas.”

She gets up. “From what Cian and Kylian told me, only you would make a statement like that. Come on. Breakfast and spoiling.”

Chapter 47

Della

I straightenthe fragrance bottles on display, bored out of my mind.

This isn’t my dream job. This isn’t even a job I like, but I’ve never been someone who sits around waiting for something to happen.

Things don’t change unlessyouchange them.

After two nights at my sister’s house, I packed up my stuff and argued with Rune when he insisted on paying three months' rent on a one-bedroom downtown apartment so I could start rebuilding my life.

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