Page 3 of Red

I was still in my post-lockdownparty girl erabefore my move, and my inner slut is getting irritated at the lack of action. I could’ve invited him in. He’d fill the void. Maybe help me relax also, but that’s assuming he’s somewhat good in bed.

Nah, I know better from experience—if the sparks aren’t there, the job won’t be done.

I should just get a dog.

And a vibrator.

I’m never going to be able to masturbate in Granny’s house, am I?

The full refurbish isn’t helping the situation.

What am I even doing out here in the first place?

It’s all crazy to me how things went down.Just a couple of months ago, I was living with a roommate in Downtown Chicago, and now, all of a sudden, I’m a homeowner in the deep suburbs of West Virginia. I actually don’t think this area even qualifies as suburban, but they do deliver out here. Located between Morgantown and Cheat Lake, on the edge of the woods with the closest neighboring house a few miles away, and a grocery store even further. Super remote.

But maybe being closer to nature is good for me—I should learn to enjoy the little things. The region is absolutely gorgeous. Especially at this time of year, during the fall, with all the leaves having just the most breathtaking colors.

However, someone doesn’t approve of me being here—I don’t understand why. And that someone would be my mother, of course. I still remember our short argument over the phone after I informed her what was happening.

“You have no relationship with that woman! And now she calls you!”

“Mom, she is dying! She just wants to make amends. How can you be so cruel?”

“Oh, I’m cruel? Goodbye, Julia!”

And that was it.

I literally dropped everything, packed up all my essentials in one suitcase, and flew outhere without thinking twice.

Granny died shortly after I arrived. Mom didn’t even come to the funeral. As far as I can remember, they never got along and there’s a ton of bad blood between them. I’ve always suspected it’s because of the politics, but I usually minded my own business. My mother is rather progressive, which I like about her, and we share a lot of the same values. But grandma had a very different worldview and pushed her rhetoric as a Senator for many years. I seriously can’t even remember the last time we visited her when I was a child. Not that Granny tried to reach out to me or anything, though. Not until I received the news about her sickness.

I inherited quite a chunk of her savings plus this property. My original plan was to flip it and sell for profit. However, before passing, she’d mentioned so many times how much she loved the cottage and insisted on me staying. She was also the one who introduced me to Dean. Pretty sure she had it all planned out for me, though I wasn’t going to argue with her on her deathbed.

And now, living here for weeks, I no longer have a heart to put it up for sale. I must admit, it’s cozy here, peaceful while everything seems to be moving that much slower. Perfect place tostart a family.

Wait. THE FUCK. Up.

Where is this coming from? I don’t even like kids that much. Sure, they can be cute, but they are loud and somehow always sticky. I’vemost definitelynever seen myself as a mother.

I blame it purely on me being so secluded. It’s starting to get to me more than I thought it would. I’m not a small-town girl. Neither am I outdoorsy. I miss the big city. The convenience. The noise. The fast pace. The false security blanket being in the crowd gave me. I even miss the smell.

And my friends… I miss them the most. They promised to visit but that hasn’t happened yet, and I seriously doubt it ever will. Maybe, just maybe, they weren’t such good friends, after all—Food for thought.

Gosh, they would hate it here anyway!

Not too much to do if you are used to the crazy night life and a ton of diversity. Because I can’t imagine any of them going hiking. I don’t even do it myself, and I live right by the Coopers Rock State Forest.

I FaceTime my best friend and ex-roomie, Lana, but she never picks up. She’s probably too busy pregaming before going out to a club orhas a hot date—Good for her!

On another note, I miss sex.

Have I mentioned it already? Oh well, none of that for me, I guess.

I sigh, stuffing myself with the rest of my already melted to soup consistency consolation prize dessert. I haven’t even noticed where the entire thing went.

But do I care?No.

I clean up and move to my bedroom. I’m so proud of what I’ve done with the space—well, I designed it, Dean did most of the labor with a couple of his friends. I don’t stay in the master’s since it used to be Granny’s. Either way, I prefer the old family room that’s overlooking my private apple orchard with the sliding full glass door to the terrace. It’s a whole vibe thanks to the fall foliage outside and I love it.

---