Page 37 of It's Love I'm After

“I’m just saying. Sometimes, the usual remedies don’t help, and you have to go to more drastic measures.”

“Why in the world are we talking about constipation, woman?”

“It’s why I’m up past my bedtime and sleepy as hell. Caleb has been struggling to poop for the last day or so. He’s miserable, which means I’m sleep-deprived. I might even be delirious at this point, so you might want to ignore whatever comes out of my mouth right now.”

“Awe, poor Cha-Cha. What can I do to make it better for you?”

“Stick your hand in Caleb’s butt to release the backup.”

“What the hell?” Another round of laughter escapes my mouth from the statement and whine in Chaniya’s tone.

“I’m just saying, that’s what Nana did when he was a baby dealing with constipation. She would break off a piece of soap and insert it into C?—”

“Got it, Cha-Cha, but I think Caleb is beyond the point of that being an acceptable method of relief. Have you tried apple juice?”

“Mhm. Didn’t work and only gave him gas. Funky gas that almost had me throwing up, but yeah, that didn’t help at all.”

“Try a warm?—”

“Bath, mhm. I did that too, and I tried massaging his tummy too. It only produced more gas, and I promise I thought his little ass would fart me into the living room.”

“Well, it looks like you’re gonna have to just wait it out, love. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but sometimes these things take?—”

“Mommy! Mommy!” Caleb’s squeaky yet alarmed voice cuts me off.

“Shit!” Chaniya shouts before air and the sound of movement distorts what’s happening on her end. I listen intently to make sure everything is okay.

“I pooped! I pooped!” Caleb cheers.

“Thank God, but ooh, you stink. Handle your business, Son,” Chaniya says, sounding like she’s in distress or agony. “Whew, the Lord is kind,” she says to the receiver.

“Yes, He is, and always on time. Looks like this crisis is averted. I hate to run, but I’ve gotta get back on the floor.”

“Damn, just when I was gonna have something else to talk about.”

“No worries. Call me when you go on break or lunch tomorrow.”

“I must be in trouble with you or something because I ain’t heard from your narrow behind since Essence’s wedding. Why do you have a stick up your butt with me, Germayne Kadeem Malone?” Grandma Jolene questions while giving me a death glare.

“You almost had me back in the single streets, but I ain’t mad at you. I’ve just been busy working and trying to build my relationship. You obviously felt guilty or something because it took you a month to miss me enough to call.”

One of the bad things about frequently working the night shift is that most everyone else works the day shift and doesn’t understand that you need to sleep during the day. In Grandma Jolene’s retired status, her time is her own, so she never considers what others have going on. Thankfully, I was able to get roughly five hours of sleep before she called, requesting my presence. I’m surprised it has taken her this long to reach out to me because it’s the longest we’ve gone without communicatingor me visiting. However, my reasoning isn’t a lie, and I don’t feel bad about nurturing the relationship that’s shaping up to be my best one yet.

“My bad. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I got caught up in Chaniya’s ability to engage with me without any objectives. That other thang only wanted to bond with me because she was trying to gain brownie points with you. Chaniya is genuinely attracted to you and doesn’t need watering by being smothered by you. I got lost in her authenticity, so I apologize if it caused any waves for you.”

“Are you dying? Sick? Been cloned?” Staring intently at Grandma Jolene, I move to circle her body to inspect anything that appears out of place.

Grandma Jolene doesn’t apologize for anything she says or does, making this entire exchange out of place.

“I’m fine, but your daddy chewed me out and told me to fix it because he doesn’t want any bad blood between the family and his new daughter.”

“Come again?”

“Don’t be acting like you didn’t spend that entire weekend staring at the poor child like she would disappear if you didn’t watch her. You practically threw me out the way to dance with her with your thirsty ass,” Grandma Jolene informs me.

“What do you know about somebody being thirsty, old woman?”

“Your mammy is old and smells like twenty-day-old fish,” Grandma Jolene sassily states.

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