Page 43 of It's Love I'm After

“Be safe.” Warmth spreads throughout my chest upon hearing the calm and commanding tone of Chaniya before three beeps sound in my ear, letting me know she’s disconnected the call.

Placing my phone in my pocket, I return to the front entrance, feeling lighter than I had the first time I walked through the doors.

“Wow. You know how to make dinosaur-shaped pancakes, Mr. Germayne. You’re so cool,” Caleb says in a singsong voice when I place his plate in front of him the next morning.

“Yep. My dad taught me how to make them when I was your age. He felt like I should know how to add something special to cooking.”

“That’s cool. I wish I had a Daddy to teach me how to do stuff like yours did,” Caleb says, causing me to look from his solemn face to his mother.

Chaniya’s mouth is slightly ajar as her gaze bounces from her son to me, making me wonder if this is something Caleb has said before. When she mouths her apology, I wave her off because there is no reason for it in my book. We’ve previously discussed what led to Caleb being without a father, so there’s no need for her to feel bad or apologize about the aftermath with me.

“I’m not your dad, but I can teach you whatever you want to know as long as your mom is good with it,” I suggest.

“Yay!” Caleb shouts, dancing in his seat before forking a piece of his pancake and inserting it into his mouth.

Seeing the pride on his little face makes me adamant about securing my place in not only Chaniya’s life but Caleb’s as well. From my short time in Caleb’s presence, I can see he’s a respectful and mild-mannered little boy. In my opinion, Caleb is also thirsty for male attention, and being the man planning on locking his mother down, I’m committing myself to catering to his needs too.

“Excuse me for a second,” Chaniya says, pushing her chair back and speed walking out of the kitchen.

“I’m gonna check on your mom for a minute. We’ll be back in a minute, C.”

“Okay, Mr. Germayne,” Caleb says without lifting his head from his plate.

Setting the plate down that I’m filling for Chaniya, I head in the direction of where she went to see what’s up with her. Reminding Chaniya that her situation doesn’t have to be continually regretted is what I need to express. Caleb is herenow, and so am I, so she doesn’t have to continue focusing on her past. It’s frustrating that men can drop their nuts without shame, and women are the ones people ridicule for the consequences of joint recklessness. Hearing sniffles coming from the living room, I head there with a frown.

“Dry those eyes, Cha-Cha. This ain’t what we’re doing on our hangout day.” I enter the room, moving toward Chaniya.

“I can’t help it. He has never said that before, so I had no idea he was feeling his father's absence. I feel like a failure right now, Germayne. I’m trying my best to provide for Caleb so he doesn’t hate me for being careless when he grows up. Now, I feel like my best isn’t good enough because he’s feeling the absence anyway.”

Pulling Chaniya into my arms, I stroke her back when her shoulders bounce from the emotions she’s releasing into my chest.

“Listen, I know I’m not his dad, but I promise I’m here for both of y’all. I’m not going anywhere, so Caleb is straight.”

“I don’t want to get used to you being here and?—”

“I’m committing to being here for Caleb, even in the unlikelihood we don’t make it. Stop crying. Caleb doesn’t need to see anything but a smile, especially when y’all are with me. It’s good vibes and positive energy over everything, Cha-Cha. Now, come on before the food gets cold.” Kissing Chaniya’s forehead, I squeeze her body, hoping that an ounce of my strength will seep into her pores.

Once I’m confident that Chaniya is good, I guide us back to the kitchen after making a quick pitstop to clean her face of any redness so as to not alarm Caleb.

“Mr. Germayne, those pancakes were sooo good. I can’t wait for you to teach me how to make them.” Caleb gushes when we reenter the kitchen.

Warmth stretches across my chest at seeing Caleb’s wide grin and twinkling merriment in his eyes.

“I got you. How about I make your mom and my plate and give you a couple more to tie you over until lunch?”

“Ooh, please.” Caleb dances in his seat, smiling wide, and my heart skips a beat at seeing his jubilation from something so simple.

The first order of business from today forward is showing Caleb that I’m a man of integrity and my word.

19

CHANIYA

“Now, I have prided myself on letting you kids make your own decisions, but that was before I knew your man was kin to that witch. You’ve gotta stop seeing him, Chaniya. What I know about Jolene Malone is that she sucks frog toes while sunbathing,” Nana rants while pacing back and forth.

“I keep telling you that I should have gotten her checked out when she popped up pregnant and didn’t know how it happened.” Mom interjects with an indignant expression that I’m itching to knock off her self-righteous face.

“Ain’t nobody talking to your ho ass, Vernise. It’s crazy how you like to condemn your daughter for something you did. While you’re sitting in your seat of judgment, who the fuck is Chaniya’s father?” Nana snaps, halting her steps to give Mom a death glare.

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