Page 65 of Windlass

“I think there could be actually, but I see your point.” The trunk of the tree hit a knot in her shoulder. She leaned into it, massaging the sore muscle. “What’s the worst that can happen, though?”

“I botch it so badly she says no.”

“Sorry, I’m still struggling to picture that.”

Other things, however, she could picture easily: Angie’s mouth, wide and perfect, and her body, prostrate and beautiful, more than anything she could have conjured in the dark of her mind.

“Imagine proposing to someone. Have you ever felt strongly enough about someone you’ve considered it?”

“Can’t say that I have,” Stevie lied, wishing Ivy had chosen another day to ask that particular question. She flexed her hand against her leg, stretching out the residual tightness.

“Really?”

Stevie had taken Lilian’s critiques of Ivy with several shakers of salt, but now she wondered if there was a core of mean girl somewhere in there. The question could have been idle. Maybe Ivy was too in love to remember not everyone got what they wanted. Or maybe she was probing the wound to see how deep it went because that was what doctorsdid.

“I’ll imagine it.” Mean or not, she determined that Ivy didn’t fully understand how painful this exercise was for Stevie.

When you know, you know, she’d once heard someone say, and Stevie was prisoner to that fatal knowledge.

Ivy went on. Stevie watched Jaq, who was out of earshot and stroking Freddie’s neck as she continued naming the hoofbeats to herself.

“—that’s the right hind, Jaq, but close.” To Stevie Ivy said, “I want it to be perfect. I want it . . . Has Lilian told you what happened when we were in school?”

“Not the specifics.”ThoseLilian had told to Angie, who, in turn, had told Stevie, so it wasn’t a complete lie, but she was curious to hear them from Ivy’s lips.

“I was an asshole, and instead of asking her to be with me, I pushed her away. I think about that all the time. If I’d just gotten over myself, I could have been with Lil since then. I wasted years.Healthyyears. I want her to know that this time I’m serious about her.”

“I think she knows.” Stevie thought of some of the expressions she’d seen on Lilian’s face. Had she and Angie wasted years? Was that what Ivy was saying or warning against?

“I don’t want her to have any doubts. If I make her uncomfortable—” She broke off, frustration evident in the shake of her head. It so closely resembled one of Freddie’s head tosses that Stevie had to hide a smile. Some of her suspicion waned. Ivy was too worked up to be nefarious.

“Walk me through how you want it to go down. We can workshop it.”

“That might help.”

“Lay it on me.”

“There’s that spot on the island. It wasn’t our first kiss, but it was our first kiss that really meant something. The view is gorgeous and private. The odds of someone interrupting us are low even in the summer—okay, nice, Jaq. Think you’re up for a trot, same exercise?”

“Sure.”

“Will you do the one-knee thing?” Stevie asked.

Ivy folded her arms, studying Jaq’s form. “Yes. Lil deserves someone showing her that kind of deference. I made her vulnerable. Though, I suppose she does have a thing for assholes, given the person I used to be.”

“Fair enough.”

With a tilted smile, Ivy eyed her sideways. “I can’t pictureyouever being a dick.”

“Meaning youcanbe an asshole?”

Stevie heard the smile in Ivy’s voice.

“One hundred percent.”

“That bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“What bothers me?” asked Stevie, wishing she’d kept the bitterness out of her voice.

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