Page 51 of Windlass

“You think so?” Angie’s hand slid up Stevie’s calf.Thattouch was less innocent.

“I’m an unbiased observer,” she said.

“Good to know. So what is this healthier coping mechanism?” asked Angie. “Please go on.”

“It’s really an obscure theory. You’ve probably never heard of it.” Stevie put on her best hipster drawl.

“Try me.” One nail trailed down her leg. Since every nerve in her body had relocated to that leg, this had predictable results.

“Fuck, Angie.” She squeezed her thighs together and took a deep breath to stop herself from ending this conversation early. “Fine. Friends with benefits. That’s my solution.”

A terrible solution. What she wanted was far, far more than the casual nature that arrangement suggested. If she asked for more, however, Angie would run. This inane inadequacy might allow Angie to pretend the stakes were low enough to risk.

Angie’s hand stilled. “You can’t be serious.”

Playing the clown most of her life had given her a modicum of acting skills. She shrugged, playing off her words as casually as she could. “Lana wasn’t your friend. She didn’t care about you. I do. Therefore healthier.”

“Okay, but—”

“Unless you have a better idea?” She dropped all pretense of joking and let her voice fall flat. Angie did not answer for a moment. Was that because she didn’t have a better idea, or because her idea was leaving and never coming back?

“You don’t think this could, like, backfire catastrophically?” Angie bit her lip when she finished speaking. She really needed to stop that if she expected Stevie’s brain to function.

“Do you honestly think we can go back to pretending things are normal?”

“That’s not . . . I don’t . . . You deserve better.” Angie’s voice broke on the last word.

Stevie snorted, which, judging by Angie’s startled expression, was not the reaction she’d expected. “Yeah, okay.”

“You do.”

“Nobody ‘deserves’ anything. Besides, what is it, exactly, that you think I need? Tell me what I deserve, Angie.”

“I—” Angie stumbled over her words. “Someone who’s stable.”

“Am I asking you to hold me up?”

“What?”

“Ladders are stable. Foundations are stable. Places where horses live are stable. Peoplearen’tstable. We’re mostly liquid shoved into skin sacks.”

“You say the sexiest things to me.”

“I try.”

“You know what I mean, though,” said Angie.

“I do, and I disagree. Letmejudge what I deserve because I’ll tell you what Idon’tdeserve: walking around this house with you every day, pretending like I don’t want to take you on this counter.”

Angie closed her eyes and inhaled sharply.Good. When she opened her eyes again, desire had crept back in.

“Stevie . . .”

“Hear me out. You’re worried you’re going to hurt me. Right?”

“I—”

“Yes or no answers.”

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